Stylin’ Jeff

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For Christmas, I ordered my husband a nice wool hat, the hat I see all the men in the outdoor magazines and mail order catalogue’s wearing.

To me it looks like a rugged outdoor sporting men’s hat, he tells me it looks like a beanie, and he mumbles something about being Methodist. I ask him what that has to do with your present; he tells me it looks like a Jewish prayer cap. His next statement was “you expect me to wear this?” I said “yes of course, just like I’m sure you expect me to wear that Remington stocking hat.”

Stylin' JeffWe moved on to other gifts; I love to shop and find the perfect gifts for each recipient. Next Jeff opened a “ball cap ear band”. I wasn’t too wild about this gift yet I thought it rather practical, and obviously, Jeff had never seen or heard of one before for his ears are always showing below his ball caps.

He asked me who put me up to this, I told him nobody and proceeded to explain the practicability of this gift, he told me he has the gear he needs and asked “can you return this?” I ignored this remark and moved on, for I was excited for him to open his next gift, the “force nine gaiter”. A cloth worn over the bottom portion of your face to protect your nose and mouth while outside.

After I explained this gift to him, he asked me to please leave the outdoor gear shopping to him. I’m happy to leave the outdoor gear purchases up to Jeff, yet by the look of his gear, he doesn’t know when it is time to shop.

Jeff’s gear is all done in camouflage-decorated with holes. Holes not placed there by design, yet well-worn holes formed over time. I see holes and see a need to shop. Jeff sees holes and views the item as almost broken in and in perfect condition.

I told Jeff that these items are what the well-dressed prepared sportsmen wears he replied, “perhaps, in the big city yet not in the real outdoors.”

Green Acres may not be shown on television anymore, yet it runs 24/7 at our home.

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