Healing the Invisible (1/3)
Even with all its drawbacks, most would answer emphatically, “Yes! Love is astounding!” It makes you want to jump and jive.
I hope my words help you get in touch with how you like to be touched and how best to trigger your joy of arousal. While I have been endowed with the passion of writing on these subjects, I resign to God’s inscrutable purpose. If you are not in a relationship right now, you may find my words useful as a way to help hone your sense of self for future relationships.
Everything in these pages is based on solid, medically sound research and findings by marriage and sex therapists. There are many common hang-ups that often get in the way of us enjoying our sexuality.
Some are related to emotional issues; others are medical or health-related questions. Did you know that any stress can make your body dry up and difficult to respond to sexually? Do you think of sex as routine, boring, one-sided, and painful?
If guilt, shame or pain is taking a toll on your love life, perhaps it would be better of you romanced yourself. Once you form this bond with yourself, you automatically lay the groundwork for intimacy with yourself and others.
When you are ready to have sex again, many therapists suggest an arousal cream. It causes the blood to rush to that area creating a heightened sensitivity. It is good to place our focus on the intimate aspects of our relationships, such as communication, massage, hugging and cuddling. This enables our minds to focus on each other.
You may not agree with me, but I feel like I have been given all the tools I needed to write this for you. The hardest thing in beginning this book was to cut away all that is incidental and keep only that which remains as the nobility of love, marriage and the Science of Ecstasy. I feel like it is pretty impossible to build good relationships until we’ve burned away our youth and its fairytales, as well as learned misapprehensions about love, marriage and sex.
I must admit creating a book about loving and being loved is like having a foot in two worlds. The idea of double-dipping into sensual matters intrigues and excites me; after all, love is the fuel that drives the human engine. I’m not a doctor; I write for fun and wellness, yours and mine. I also write to inspire others to be present, mindful and authentic to your intuitions.
Sylvia Brown, the psychic says, in her book, Phenomenon, “It is just a fact that every single one has a purpose in life. With every experience come building blocks toward fulfilling that purpose. Our spirit minds know what that purpose is, whether our conscious minds can define it or not.
Who of us would not want to fall into paradise with the exact tools we needed to fall in love and have amazing sex? Maybe, your sexuality in the past had been judged bad, dirty or morally wrong? Even so, most of us have the same goals in mind; intimacy, compatibility, communication, love, sex, and orgasm.
Unfortunately, because we are often timid when it comes to having the “talk” about sexual satisfaction, couples stay imprisoned beneath heavy clouds of predated misconceptions. I didn’t exactly remember the moment when I realized each of us dies a little when we lose love, and then we come alive again with each new one.
Oriental beliefs also feel that flesh and mind are inextricably bound so that a spiritual experience is a very possible an outcome of good sex. Western terms call this state a sense of wholeness and well-being. From the mystic organs called the “heart & mind” flow the milk of all relationships. Mark Twain, in Following the Equator, gives us his advice, “We should be careful to get out of an experience only the wisdom that is in it and stop there.” Understanding ourselves is paramount in understanding love’s lessons.
Make no mistake about it; even a loving heart and mind require tremendous human patience, intelligence and skill. We are lucky today that those who can’t afford the cost of private therapy or who may feel shy about discussing sexual matters, can improve their relationships and gain a sparkling sex life by learning to love physically and mentally.
You might try imagining yourself on a beach. Can you feel the soft breezes on your face, your arms? Can you feel the sand between your toes? Can you hear the rhythm of the waters as the surf comes in? If you can imagine the above sensual experiences, bring the same level of attention and heightened awareness to your lovemaking. Sex is more about being fully engaged in what you are doing than about technique.