On Being a Man, On Being a Woman

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These are a pair of articles written quite a few years ago now.  While time may have passed, I do not think that intrinsically my intended message has changed very much.

On Being a Man
The internet has become the home for every miscreant, malcontent, misogynist and malcontent moron on the planet.

man-womanEvery slimy, anti-social little worm of a person is given a voice and more importantly an identity to hide behind.  I blame a lot of this on the death of the ‘Man’

Now I am sure some of you are looking around thinking ‘Hmm, ya know there are still plenty of men around, whatever can you mean?’  Well, what I mean is the death of appropriate manliness.

For the last generation, we have become effeminate wankers or overbearing artificialities.  The ‘manly-man’ is derided by women who want men to act like women, think like women and cry like women.  On the same hand, they want men to be manly.  Well, it just hasn’t worked.

A real man knows how to treat women.  He knows what is appropriate and what is not appropriate.  He knows he is stronger, he knows he can hit harder, shove further and push longer, but these things are kept for her betterment, not detriment.

I love women.  I love all the bits of them, all the nice spots and curvy lines and the softness, I just love the softness.  That said I don’t want to be soft myself, I don’t have to be.  I don’t want to cry and emote and wait for the next ‘Sleepless in Seattle-esque’ film to come out.

I want to speak plainly, honestly, openly.  I want to present who I am, that which never changes.  I want to be strong and resolute and determined.  I want to make the tough calls and the hard decisions.  I want to act in a way that is a credit to the memory of the men who went before me.

I refuse to slink or lie or crawl or manipulate.  I deny the artificialities of a pretend persona.  I refuse to use the internet as a tool for giving me a personality that I lack.  Who I am, who I appear to be, is exactly who I am in real life.  I am accused of being acerbic, intolerant, funny and best of all, mean.  Well, guess what, I am.  I refuse to hide behind a false name or false persona.  I refuse to cower or hide.

But I digress, not that I have ever been known not to do that.

The modern man is a lacking creature.  The net with its false sexuality has made craven perverts of millions.  Slack-jawed men believing that they not only want but deserve the fetish du jour.  The lack of definition of what makes a real man, the blurring of the lines between the sexes has led to this.

So to enrage the feminazi’s I shall describe what a real man is.

A real man is strong.  Strong of spirit, of mind, of conscience.  While these strengths may be impressive they are not to be taken lightly or misused.  Just because I may be able to beat up a woman does not mean I ever would.  That would not be manly.  The application of strength against one who is weaker is, in fact, an application of cowardice.

A real man is rational.  While women can be ruled by their feelings and emotions, and this is not a bad thing, a man must be ruled by level-headedness.  Women can be emotional because neurologically they are designed to be.  The combination of hormones and other chemicals combine to make them the more emotional half of the equation.  That is a good thing.  The emotions of women, the tears and hugs and laughter are those things that balance the emotional isolation of a man.

There has been such a push for equality amongst the sexes that we have diminished women, not raised them.  We have not recognized the inherent differences and accepted them as differences, we have masked them and claimed similarity.  It is stupid and it is false.  We have diminished femininity in women and praised it in men and we wonder why we are going to hell in a handcart.

I will open doors and pull out chairs.  I will pay the bill and take your arm.  I will tip my hat and mind my manners.  In short, I shall act like a man should around a woman.  I do however expect women to act like women around me.  If I wanted to go out with someone showing mannish traits then I would call a friend.

A real man is honest, straightforward and resolute.  The modern liar and coward has always existed but in previous times we were smart enough to recognize and deride them.  Now we vote for them or make them corporate leaders.  My name is my name, my persona my actuality, my style is my character.

A real man does not confuse the lines between reality and fantasy.  As I said, he maintains the rational processes as indicative of what he is.  A real man treats women with respect and care because it behooves him as a symbol of his strength.  A real man does not pose or prance or pretend to be that which he is not.  A real man becomes what he is not, he learns and strives and grows.

A real man will place honour before all else.  Before personal gain or benefit, before friendship, worth or love.  He will do this because without honour these other things lose their value.

A real man does not hide behind falseness and artificiality.  He will not use these tools of the modern era to pretend to what he is not.  A real man will present himself, warts and everything for what he is.  A real man is secure enough in himself to do these things and if he is not, then he should change until he is.  A real man does not hide nor shy away from the light.  These are the traits of a cockroach.

A real man does not have to be a blundering, crashing buffoon of careless disregard and bullish ignorance.  A real man balances those traits of learning, of style, of eloquence and delicacy with those of strength and determination.  It is a difficult balancing act but in difficulty we grow.

A real man does not moan or whine or accuse.  A real man faces the world, its beauty and its ugliness with determination, fortitude and the thought that it all can be better than it is with hard work and perseverance.

So in closing, I shall say just this.  To those who bother women, who hide or deride or snipe from the cover of anonymity, you are a coward and a pale example of manhood.  To those who would harass or vex just because you can, you are weak.  If you want to be a man, then be a man of strength, integrity, and honour.

On Being a Woman
Following my previous comments on being a man, I was asked what a woman should be.  I mulled this question over and gave it a great deal of thought.

My first consideration is of course that the ‘woman’ is highly idealized much as the ‘man’ was.  I am therefore limited in my comments by the need to stick to that idealized version.

I will open by discussing momentarily the meaning of the words.  Every now and then I hear of people making references to wymin and chairpersons etc.  I have to assume that they do this out of misguided ignorance rather than intentional stupidity.

Man, the term itself does not mean the male as specified by sex, it means a person.  The male was not specified because there was no need to.  Woman refers to sexuality, it means a person, female.  The origins of this are ancient and begin in the early matriarchal societies that most cultures spawned from.  Instead of changing words to suit modern idiotic sensibilities I think we need to remember or learn the origins and what they mean.  Man is in itself a generic term, woman is specific.  People who spend any great amount of time deliberating such things as ‘personhole’ instead of ‘manhole’ are probably too focused on being an entirely different type of ‘hole’ altogether.  It’s like chairperson.  A chairperson is someone who carries a chair for royalty.  The queen is not about to wander with a folding lawn chair under her arm so she has some serf whose job it is to carry something for her to sit on.  A chairman chairs a board.  It is a sexless phrase that refers to a person.

But I digress, I know, that is hardly unusual.

A woman is…

A woman is not a man.  It is not a trite statement; it is the easy summation of everything I believe regarding the sexes.  A woman is not supposed to be a man.

We live in a world of demands for gender neutrality when it does not exist, has never existed and never will exist.  The genders are not conflicting parts of the whole they are complimentary.  Each aspect adds something to the other and it is only in recognizing that difference and benefit that we will have any peace.

Where a man might be the ‘Strong Back’ of humanity women are the ‘Heart’.  This is not to relegate them to some tittering moon-eyed class but to specify the variance in role.  A male can only at best father a child, but a woman, a woman creates life from her own body.  This is an altogether different thing.  Our entire race, our future, our existence springs from thy womb.

To birth, nurture and raise a child requires that the woman be specifically focused on those things that we call ‘maternal instincts’.  Without them, she would be as negligent as a male might be if suddenly dropped into that situation.  These maternal instincts, the nurturing and caring is such a necessary part of our society that we would collapse were it removed.

We have a society that asks men to behave like women and women to behave like men and we have done neither any justice because of it.

A woman acting like a man in a corporate or other setting is in fact a parody.  Because the mannish mannerisms are not her own she pretends to have them.  It’s intellectual transvestitism.  That said I want no doubt in anyone’s mind that women cannot have certain characteristics that some would consider more male than female and for those characteristics to be totally normal.

The perfect woman is strong, resolute, brave, intelligent, dedicated and honest and is these things while still maintaining her femininity.  She knows that she competes with herself and not with males at some artificial level of equality.

Women and men are not equal, they have never been and they never will be.  They are in fact intrinsically different and as such there can be no equality.  A woman bodybuilder will never have the same muscle mass as a male bodybuilder.  They are not supposed to, that is a genetic issue.  On the same hand, a male will never be able to compete against a woman in the myriad of things women do better.

We lie.  We create an artificial equality through an intrinsic stupidity.  Let’s take as an example being a fireman.  I am not a fireman and I have no experience being one.  I am basing this following part on what I have read recently.  The numbers are just for the sake of the argument and not reality.

To become a fireman the following is demanded.  The applicant must be able to climb a ladder in thirty seconds, lift a two hundred pound body, carry it down the ladder and run one hundred yards with it.  A simple enough process, all applicants must accomplish this.  This measurement has been determined as what is required to save a life in a burning building.

What ends up happening though is this.  The requirements are reduced for women to make it ‘fair’.  She must climb in forty-five seconds, lift one hundred pounds and run fifty yards.  This is not a benefit to women, it is not an equality, it is a diminishing act.

There are women who could do it as fast if not faster than a male candidate.  There are women who are stronger, faster, smarter and yet, they are dismissed and reduced.  This is not equality, it is coddling and personally, I am opposed to it.

The whole of political correctness and affirmative action is one of dismissal.  The governments’ official policy is that women and minorities are neither as smart nor as strong as white males and therefore the standards are lowered.  I find this offensive.

I know that currently there are those who have read this last part and are sharpening claws and fangs for my benefit.  I have found it a rarity for anyone to hear that last statement and take it for what is meant rather than how they feel about it.

Anyone who benefits from PC or AA regulations is not about to say that they should be gotten rid of.  They will demand the separate standards while still demanding that they be treated equally.  You cannot have both.  You can earn equality you cannot have it given to you.  It cannot be legislated or enforced or demanded, it is like respect, it must be earned.

By reducing the standards based on sex or race we are enforcing the concept that we are not equals and therefore some must be helped up.  Those that are equals are viewed as an anomaly and ignored.

A few years ago in a large city near where I live they had a competition for firemen.  When the competition was done some group complained that the accepted candidates did not conform to the required hiring practices of ‘x’ many minorities.  The demand was that the standard for white male applicants be maintained but the standard for minority male applicants be lowered until sufficient numbers had passed.  The fire chief refused to state that he would not allow two levels of firemen to exist, the story started to snowball until one of the applicants spoke out.

He was third overall and he spoke about how hard he had trained and studied for the process.  He spoke about how he had always wanted to be a fireman and as such had dedicated himself to accomplishing it.  No one bothered to comment on the fact that he was black, they only commented on the fact that he was a perfect example of what a fireman needed to be, regardless of race.  His own demands that the standard be maintained had more of a sway than anyone who had not accomplished but still demanded.

I have been accused of being a racist and sexist because I do not believe in diminishing either group for their so-called benefit.  I am in all likely hood the least sexist or racist person I know and for a very simple reason.  I find so many other qualities to hate in most people that sex or race is a distant and negligible consideration.  I will hate you for your avarice, cowardice, and stupidity far before I will even consider ‘what’ you are.  I will hate you for your moral, intellectual and psychological weakness before ever I care about your origins.

The women that I know and admire are all strong but not at the cost of being women.  They are not pretending to be men, they are not dressing like or acting like men, they are acting feminine.

Feminine characteristics are not a bad thing.  They are to me at least, a wonderful thing.  The male can be brutish and clumsy and smelly, but the female, oh wonders of wonders, she is the opposite.  It is through this opposition that we are made whole.  It is very much the orientalism of ying and yang.  A woman cares and nurtures and heals.  A woman is strong and honest and resolute.  A woman is feminine and pretty and decorated without being diminished as men with jewelry are.  As you may have guessed I view these gilded popinjays of modern ‘manhood’ as the current effeminate fops.

It is alright for a woman to be womanly.  There is nothing lovelier than a woman and nothing that better represents that which is good in humanity than a woman.

Women care and heal and take care of far better than men.  A woman teaches, grows and nurtures with superiority.  Femininity is not weakness, it is strength wrapped in beauty.  A woman is the reason that men act well at all.  Left on their own we would be wandering naked and smelly, hitting each other and spitting.  But for women, women make us smile and nod and act properly and decently.  Women raise men to a better standard and keep them there.

Thank You

7 Responses to "On Being a Man, On Being a Woman"

  1. Linda Parsons  Friday, August 2, 2013 at 20:13

    You never fail to hit it right on the head and bring a smile to my face. Well said and done, as always.

    Reply
  2. Bren_Freeman  Saturday, August 3, 2013 at 7:38

    Always straight to the point and no candy coating the truth as you know it to be. Saying what you mean, and meaning what what you say. That speaks of integrity in your writing and in your character. Well said and well done. Kudos also for taking on a difficult, sometimes touchy subject matter. and sticking to the truth as you see it with out caving in to the so called political correctness orchestrated by today’s cultural demands.

    Reply
  3. Craig Murray  Sunday, August 4, 2013 at 2:04

    thank you both so much

    Reply
  4. Andrew J. Sacks  Monday, August 5, 2013 at 2:52

    Fine, straight-talking and clear thinking article, Craig.

    Reply
  5. Craig Murray  Saturday, August 10, 2013 at 7:34

    Thanks!

    Reply
  6. Joyce White  Monday, April 23, 2018 at 14:50

    Agree with most everything in your article but what I missed was reasoning as to what to do about these things. Do we have stronger mothers? Do we contract men to stay with us after pregnancy? How do we men to take responsibility for their evil ways? I worry the Me, too matter will alienate the genders more and more. But women got the right to work in peace and get paid what as well as men. I wish we could feed maternal instincts to everyone lacking daily. This would turn our culture around from pitiful to loving.

    Reply
  7. Pat Gitt  Thursday, May 31, 2018 at 2:55

    While your article is extremely well stated, might I suggest that since no two people are alike, that in addition to the male/female consideration, people value each other as unique individuals. Then maybe respect for one another could prevail. Manners, courtesy and respect enable each of us to exist regardless of differences of opinion and facilitate conversation without shouting down the other’s point-of-view.

    Reply

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