Mind Full Of Sex

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“Sex, sex, sex.” My wife grinned at me with a bemused expression of wonderment. “You have a one track mind,” she said. “Is that all you ever think about?”

I answered defensively, “Of course not!” But to tell you the truth, I wasn’t so sure.

In order to prove her wrong I began a top-secret experiment. My mind would be the laboratory and double as the research subject. For one day, from the moment I arose (no pun intended), until I lay down that night, I would jot down in my private notebook every moment I thought about sex. No problem right, maybe ten or twenty times at the most? Man, was I off the mark. Luckily, this was a “secret experiment”!

At six in the morning I awake and the first thing I notice is that a certain part of my body has awakened before me. That’s numero uno. I feel my sweetheart quietly sleeping beside me and wish I could stay home and make love with her before getting the children up for school. Let’s see, that’s twice already and I haven’t even started to get out of bed!

Five minutes later I’m in the bathroom brushing my teeth and an image of her long hair flowing across my body slowly emerges and lingers. The next thing I know my mind is racing back to sexual images of past pleasures and I tell myself, “There you go again”.

Glancing at the morning paper, I notice that I spend more time reading about Angelina Jolie’s latest film or Shakira’s upcoming concerts, than I do about peace talks between Israel and Palestine or other vital events and issues.

On my way to work the CD is oozing sensuality with Sade singing “Your giving me something that’s taboo.” My mind again wanders to sexual peaks and valleys.

My work environment does nothing to distract me from these desires. I am surrounded by compassionate, charming and intelligent women. At the copy machine a colleague brushes past and touches my shoulder.
Instantaneously, I’m off again on a fantasy of possibilities. During a meeting, a short time later, I take in the sights and sounds of women who care deeply about their work. Between passing on information and conversations, I notice my erotic radar rising with regularity as I wonder what it would be like to live with different women in the room..

These thoughts and feelings come again and again throughout the day.

Driving home I anticipate holding and passionately kissing my wife’s big beautiful lips as I walk in the door. As the evening progresses, I think of making love every time we touch, hug or glance at one another with any hint of desire. After the kids are all tucked in and my sweetie and I are alone, a deep romantic urge starts bubbling towards the surface. By the time our bodies hit the sheets I am ready to ravish and be ravished.

Before turning out the light that night I looked down at my scholarly notebook and added up the times sex had dominated my awareness during the previous seventeen hours of research. One hundred and sixty-eight times! I added up all the little marks again to make sure. One hundred and sixty-eight times! I was shocked. She was right, it is all I think about. At least when I’m thinking about thinking about it, it is.

As my head hit the soft pillow, I snuggled up next to my sweetheart’s warm body and begin to drift off to sleep. How wonderful, now I can relax and dream about sex all night long.

1 Comment
  1. Eleanie says

    Wow! 168 times a year. I’m not surprised nor am I upset. I just take it for what it is. Men are just made up differently. But you have me wondering if we really are that different. Maybe I’ll conduct an unscientific test using myself.

    I found your article very enlightening and entertaining.

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