Perhaps it is that Time
The shadows beckon.
I’ve just seen the future and it makes me numb, sad and fearful. It should have been different this time but…. I wonder, can it be changed, do I even want it to be better or is this of my own making?
Each time I’ve found success, the floods came. Some faster, some slower but always the same, washing away the foundations I worked so hard to build. I see the encroaching water, feel the turbulent onslaught of wind, tremble as the ground shakes beneath my feet and yet, I can do nothing. I cannot avoid it nor do I have the strength to rebuild once again.
Perhaps, just perhaps, it’s time for me to evaporate into the shadows that have surrounded me for so long. They wait to pounce, patiently hovering and swirling like a black cloud from which there is no escape. What path is left? I cannot see, feel or even guess in which direction I might go.
With every star, wish, hope, dream and desire in my soul now exhausted, my bag is finally empty. My heart is black. My thoughts have become vacant, confused and featureless. Without meaning, there is no purpose. The shadows beckon and finally, I welcome their dark comfort.
Perhaps it is that time.
This is so beautifully presented! I find myself like this at times, but when I stop to think, do I really want to change? Or better handle? Your heart is bruised, not black…
No, I don’t think it is that time…
Wonderfully written, we all experience moments like this. but in all things change is a given. “This too shall pass”! Then life will evolve in one way or another. ‘ Perhaps it is this time” , it sounds so futile, like you have given up. Never give up on yourself, exhausted or not, there is all always that last bit in ourselves that says go on, just keep going. Don’t ever give up, to do so you fail yourself. Well said!!!! Thank you for sharing this.