I Want To Go Home


I Want To Go Home

I Want To Go Home

“Mommy I want to go home,” my daughter said after we had moved and her entire environment had changed. She got her two puffalumps, and her backpack that she has filled with her favorite toys and was going to the stairs saying, “C’mon, Mommy, let’s go home.”

Tears welling in my eyes, I said, “Honey this is our home for now and Mommy is working really hard at getting a new job and we will have a new place and you will have your very own bedroom, okay?” I showed enthusiasm in my discussion and smiled and made it exciting for her. That is what we do as Single Moms; when we want to cry, sometimes we cry in our pillows.

The day progressed and I took her to the pool. It was cheap and fun for her and good exercise for me. I had to keep things very simple at this time in our lives as the transition had been tough and where we moved into recently, required me to put many things including a lot of toys into a storage area.

We were in shared housing. Dogs barking in the morning waking us up; I would do my best to wake her up before the dogs woke up so that she would wake up happy and not scared. I made it fun, took her to all the fun parks, the pool, the slides, whatever would keep the consistency of her knowing that things were a little different, however not terrible.

That was important to me. Looking for jobs took three months and I told her before my last working interview, “Mommy is going to see about a school that you and I can go to together and I can come in and give you hugs, you will have lots of friends, and I will say peek-a-boo! We will go this weekend to get your big girl underwear and your new lunchbox for school.”

She replied, “School!” With only $100 to my name, I had no idea how I was going to stretch gas and food money; I had to trust that God would see me through yet another tough time. I wanted to call her Father for money, however, he had never sent one penny, nor had ever seen her and as my Mother used to say, “You cannot get blood from a turnip.”

It would be tough and I cried in the morning when she didn’t see me. I always let her know I was happy and we talked about all the animals she saw at the fair last night.

We may go again today as my family has two free passes, just so she can have that glimmer in her eyes again, that happiness in her voice, while I am stuck in turmoil over how to get us a new home. In being a single Mom, I know that focusing on the little things that matter to her makes any situation easier for both of us.

I got the job and start on Monday. It will be a long day for the both of us, however, at least I get to work in the same building where my daughter will be learning more socialization and skills she may not have at this time.

This morning we read about her favorite Pony Jack, have breakfast, and for only $10.00, are headed out to the pool. I have to trust that with only $100, I will be able to go a very long way before my first paycheck. Mothers do whatever they can to make sure their children are provided for, even if we, as Mothers go without, we are happier seeing our children go with what they need in life, like her very first lunchbox.

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Angie's Diary