Epiphany and Death
– This was written as a response to a challenge to write a dialogue only scene –
“Your name is Andrew Booth.”
“Yeah, who are you?”
“It doesn’t matter who I am. You need to come with me.”
“Hang on a sec. Woah. I feel dizzy. I think I need to sit down.”
“You’re dead.”
“You’re nuts. I’m standing right here.”
“Not really. Now come with me.”
“I don’t feel dead. ”
“You have a hole in your chest.”
“I do? Hey! Oh my god! I’ve been shot!”
“Now do you believe you’re dead?”
“Call the ambulance!”
“It’s too late. You’re already dead.”
“Either that or this is a strange dream.”
“It’s not a dream.”
“Prove it.”
“Prove it? What do you mean, ‘prove it’? You have a hole where your heart should be.”
“How do I know I won’t wake up in a few minutes and find myself passed out in an alley somewhere?”
“Do you often pass out in alleys?”
“Shouldn’t you know?”
“I’m not a mind reader.”
“There! That proves it. This has got to be a dream or you would know.”
“I don’t follow.”
“You’re an angel, aren’t you?”
“Oh. I see the problem. Mistaken identity. I am not an angel, they’re far too busy to do this kind of administrative work.”
“What?”
“I’m just here to collect the bodies and direct them to the right place.”
“Like a traffic cop?”
“I don’t think they collect bodies, do they?”
“Work with me. Use a little imagination.”
“I’m in administration; we aren’t required to have imagination. And besides, that’s a terrible analogy.”
“Everyone’s a critic.”
“I don’t have time for this. Are you coming with me or not?”
“You mean I have an option?”
“Not really. I’m just being polite.”
“I’m having a really hard time dealing with this. I can’t believe I’m dead.”
“I’m not a psychologist or a bartender, I’m just an administrator, and I’m running late. Look, if I give you proof, will you come along quietly?”
“It has to be convincing.”
“Look behind you in the alley.”
“Oh my god, I’m dead! How come I don’t remember anything?”
“Don’t worry, you’ll remember soon enough. Or…maybe you were unconscious when it happened. You did say you have a habit of passing out in alleys.”
“It was just an example!”
“Or maybe you were remembering something. Anyhow, come with me.”
“We can’t just leave me here.”
“I’m sure there are people who take care of these things.”
“I hope I’m wearing clean underwear.”
“Come along now.”