If we allow fear or negative feelings to crowd out positive feelings, we may very well close the door to our one true love. I’m positive there is one true love for each of us; although, we may have to keep picking and choosing, till we get to the right one. Falling in love means to focus on someone else for a change. This is the genius that is love and this is the genius that is great sex.
If you are not in a relationship right now, you may find my words useful as a way to help hone your sense of self for future relationships. Everything in these pages is based on solid, medically sound research and findings by marriage and sex therapists.
There are many common hang-ups that often get in the way of us enjoying our sexuality. Some are related to emotional issues, others are medical or health-related questions. Did you know that any kind of stress can make your body dry up and difficult to respond to sexually? Do you think of sex as routine, boring, one-sided and painful?
If guilt, shame or pain is taking a toll on your love life, perhaps it would be better if you romanced yourself. Once you form this bond with yourself, you automatically lay the groundwork for intimacy with yourself and others. When you are ready to have sex again, many therapists suggest using an arousal cream. It causes the blood to rush to that area creating a heightened sensitivity. It is good to place our focus on the intimate aspects of our relationships, such as communication, massage, hugging, and cuddling. This enables our minds to focus on each other.
You may not agree with me but I feel like I have been given all the tools I needed to write this book for you. The hardest thing in beginning this book was to cut away all that is incidental and keep only that which remains as the nobility of love, marriage and the Science of Ecstasy. I feel like it is pretty impossible to build good relationships until we’ve burned away our youth and its fairy tales, as well as learned misapprehensions about love, marriage, and sex.
I must admit creating a book about loving and being loved is like having a foot in two worlds. The idea of double-dipping into sensual matters intrigues and excites me; after all, love is the fuel that drives the human engine. I’m not a doctor, I write for fun and wellness, yours and mine. I also write to inspire others to be present, mindful and authentic to your intuitions and feelings.
Sylvia Brown, the psychic says, in her book, Phenomenon, “It is just a fact that every single one has a purpose in life. With every experience come building blocks toward fulfilling that purpose. Our spirit minds know what that purpose is, whether our conscious minds can define it or not. Who of us would not want to fall into paradise with the exact tools we needed to fall in love and have amazing sex?
Maybe, your sexuality in the past had been judged bad, dirty or morally wrong? Even so, most of us have the same goals in mind; intimacy, compatibility, communication, love, sex, and orgasm. Unfortunately, because we are often timid when it comes to having the “talk” about sexual satisfaction, couples stay imprisoned beneath heavy clouds of predated misconceptions.
I don’t exactly remember the moment when I realized each of us dies a little when we lose love; then we come alive again with each new one. Oriental beliefs feel that flesh and mind are inextricably bound so that a spiritual experience is a very possible an outcome of good sex. Western terms call this state a sense of wholeness and well-being.
From the mystic organs called the “heart & mind” flow the milk of all relationships. Mark Twain in, Following the Equator, gives us his advice, “We should be careful to get out of an experience only the wisdom that is in it and stop there.” Understanding ourselves is paramount in understanding love’s lessons.
Make no mistake about it; even a loving heart and mind require tremendous human patience, intelligence, and skill. We are lucky today that those who can’t afford the cost of private therapy or who may feel shy about discussing sexual matters, can improve their relationships and gain a sparkling sex life by learning to love physically and mentally. You might try imagining yourself on a beach. Can you feel the soft breezes on your face, your arms? Can you feel the sand between your toes? Can you hear the rhythm of the waters as the surf comes in?
If you are able to imagine the above sensual experiences, bring the same level of attention and heightened awareness.