Excerpt: In Rare Form (2)
Chapter 57 – The message…
There are many places that I never took anyone until today. Today I want mothers to feel my pain.
I want them to feel the pain of the child. I want them to see the light at the end of my tunnel. I want them to see so that they will know not to be afraid of the dark. Because, without the dark, we would never have enjoyed the light this much.
I am not proud of the things that brought me here. But I am no longer drowning in the pool of regret and guilt. I am the person I am today not in spite of what I went through but rather because of what I went through.
Yes, I was at the bottom. Yes, I ran around lost in the gutter for many years. It was a very dark place. And yes, the light is not in the tunnel but at the very end.
No, I couldn’t see my way around when I was walking inside that dark tunnel. And, no I couldn’t find the light when I was running in the tunnel. But once I hit my knees and asked for guidance it was given to me.
You see my mothers and sisters, I could never find the light at the end of the tunnel when I was walking around in my rose colored glasses and touching the walls trying to feel my way through life.
No, the walls are murky and only leads to mazes with more murky walls. Inside my heart of hearts I pray none of you find yourself inside a dark tunnel like the one I lived in for over 23 years.
But, if you are there and reading In Rare Form. Just get on your knees. Take your glasses off and start crawling. Don’t reach for the walls. They will take you to places you have already been or don’t want to go to.
No, reach for the stars and know that only something you haven’t had yet will get you to where you need to be. Find your tears. Let them flow.
Find your voice. Scream!! Remember your prayer and spill it on the floor of your tunnel. Now open your eyes and follow me to that light at the end of my tunnel.