Climbing Jersey in Stilettos (3/4)

4

Chronicles of Life and Love in the Soprano State
Part 3: Playing in the Major Leagues vs. Online Dating

I’m sitting here looking at my latest email notification from Match.com; they happily proclaim my reactivated profile has generated the interest of 9,600 men. Normally most single women would be delighted with this information but not me. I only rejoined this online dating site because Sofia and Shena don’t want me putting all of my hopes into my relationship with Major –no, that’s not his real name but it’s the way I’ll identify him here.dating

Major makes me feel like I’ve stepped out of the minor leagues of dating and started dating someone capable of commitment. Now, I could list all of his appealing characteristics but that’s not what you want to hear. You want the reasons why my friends want me to ditch Major and look for his replacement.

Well, one reason is the distance; he lives about an hour and a half away from my home in Jersey. The other is we dated in the past and he ended it abruptly via phone. That last reason left a sour taste in my girlfriends’ mouths so when I revealed that Major was back in my life they rode in like the cavalry with their Match.com promotional codes and New Jersey social calendars.

Now in Major’s defense –yes, I’m going to defend him—we were at the beginning of our relationship when his life was dealt some serious blows; he had to deal with his company restructuring and a family member’s illness. If our roles were reversed I would have back off from a possible love connection too. Now I know there’s no excuse for ending a relationship via phone, email or text but in a long distance relationship, how many choices do you really have?

So I’m currently making plans with Major but that doesn’t stop emails from populating my Match.com inbox. To tell the truth, my heart isn’t into online dating because I want to see where this thing with Major takes me. There’s an easiness with him that’s unprecedented in my dating experience. We have been through the same love journey– both of us committed to a marriage became parents and divorced after much deliberation. We learned deep lessons about life, love, and relationships that made us better people. We’re not perfect but there’s an unspoken familiarity in our connection so I have to know where this connection will take me.

I closed my Match.com email and resolved to tell my girlfriends that I’m open to dating others but I’m STILL dating Major. They won’t like it but the last time I looked it was my life…not theirs.

Since today is such a nice day, I went for a run to figure out how to tell Sophia and Shena to support my decision to date Major. I’m entered in this year’s Komen North Jersey Race for the Cure, a 5K for breast cancer scheduled for this Sunday. I’m running for two of my maternal aunts and Major’s relative that battled breast cancer –these women are true survivors –I’m blessed and inspired by them. I made my fundraising goal this year and I hope the money generated by all of the participants will help us discovered a cure in my lifetime.

1,4,3…’til next time, Chicas.

4 Comments
  1. Miquelita says

    I think all women date online and in the real world because we have to widen our chances for potential mates. I think it’s great when girlfriends remind us to not put all of our hopes in a man that broke our hearts in the past. They are looking out for your happiness so don’t see them as haters just true sisters.

  2. Sacha Bellini says

    I just stumbled upon your story and wanted to say that I really like it!

  3. Love Lace says

    My compliments – very contemporary stuff.

  4. Orit Shapiro says

    Hey, nice post, really well written. You should write more about this.

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