When Love is not a Many Splendor Thing

When Love is not a Many Splendor Thing

As that one song rings out in my mind and I thank God every day of my life that I have a loving man in it, so many women and children are being abused sexually, physically, emotionally, verbally, and financially. 

In the year 2010, abuse should be nonexistent, but day after day I sit in my little office with women crying to me how they are being abused.

Ladies’ love is not abuse.  It is not hitting, pushing, name-calling, control, jealousy, and it surely is not your fault.  If you or your child is being abused I urge you to get help.  Tell someone and find a plan to get out.  In every community, there are shelters for women and children of domestic violence.

My story:

At 22 years old I met my first husband and there wasn’t anything he would not do for me.  I had just lost my third son to SID and was very vulnerable.  He was loving, kind, and wanted more than anything to be with me (so I thought).

The first time he ever hit me, I was shocked, but he had been drinking and apologized profusely the next morning for his actions.  For 14 years I put up with black eyes, bloody noses, a busted eardrum, being called everything but a child of God, having all my money taken from me for his drug habit and I worked two jobs to support us and he didn’t work at all.

At 35 years old I woke up on my birthday and said to myself I would be divorced from him by the end of that year and I was.  I was scared because he told me if I ever left him he would kill me.

Well at that point in my life I felt I would rather be dead than suffer any more of his horrible treatment.  I finally got my divorce in October of that year while he was in jail, changed the locks on the doors, and went on with my life.  Today at 47 I look back and realize how lucky I am to be alive.

Do not settle for abuse ladies.  It is not love, ever.  I can now live a happy life with a loving man who knows how to treat me.  You don’t need a man to complete you.  You don’t need a man to help you financially and you can do it alone.  A lot of times we feel we need them because we can’t be alone but that is not true.

Being free from abuse is a wonderful thing and you must learn to love yourself.  When children see their mothers being abused they will become abusers.  You can break the cycle if you just stop yourself from this horrible treatment.  Get help today.