Speaking Up With Your Hands – Seven Tips for Introverts


Speaking Up With Your Hands

“What the hands say is often louder than words!”
~ Joe Navarro, M.A.

Speaking Up With Your Hands
Courtesy of Wikipedia

Go ahead, express yourself. Talk with elastic faces or use your hands to communicate. No other species has such a remarkable range of capabilities for communicating with others.

We all need that communication. For instance, many of us have learned to communicate our emotions, thoughts, and sentiments by screaming out with our hands.

It is eerie fact that while our hands help introverts best; it is a sad fact that hands also serve our enemies.

There could be many reasons we step back rather than move forwards when approached. Even infants know by crying they get fed and diapered.

Infants use crying to get what they want. Their first belly laugh is inspiring to one and all. They enjoy learning how to get our attention.

When I’m writing, my hands and shoulders are comfortable and contented. When stressed or unhappy, my fists are closed with little space between my fingers. It is then my breath is labored, my body is sweating and the blood flow slows down. Communicating is difficult when my thumbs are wrapped and intertwined in front of me. I tend to point my index finger rather than my hand.

Those like me often spend a great deal of time trying to understand why we are who we are. If you’re one of these people, thanks to psychology and neuroscience, we all can learn to negotiate for respect, rewards, and good self-esteem just by using our hands and bodies.

Over the years, I have learned to speak up with my hands, direct with my hands, pray with my hands, be grateful and be greedy, all with the twist of my hands without being tediously interrupted.

Most the time many think I am weak, uninteresting, and nothing special to be bothered with.  Most also think that having an introverted personality leads to poorer emotional health and well-being; in truth, I doubt this. We who are shy are just as balanced as those with extroverted personalities except most of us speak with our hands.

The one standout difference is that the introverted unconsciously deems himself guilty before proven innocent.  The extrovert deems himself innocent before being proven guilty.

Author, Ancowitz at Everyday Health, gives us seven ways for an introvert to embrace their inner wallflower:

1. Indulge — rather than deride — your love of quiet time.

A little “me time” will enable you to re-energize and do your best thinking.

2. Scrap the small talk.

There’s no need to be the last man standing at a social event. Aim to have a few thoughtful conversations rather than working the room — which can be draining.

3. Chalk yourself up (without talking yourself up).

Promote your strengths quietly through writing, using social networking tools, building strong relationships, and asking for introductions and referrals.

4. Make pals with public speaking.

“It’s a highly efficient use of your energy,” …says Ancowitz. “Get up in front of the room once and reach many more people than you normally would in a day.”

5. Be the “go-to” person in your area of expertise.

Write about it, speak about it, and spread the word to people who would benefit from it.

6. Practice your lines.

Ancowitz suggests that something as simple as “Hello, my name is Nancy,” along with good eye contact and an extended hand, is usually all you need.

7. Be a matchmaker.

This positions you as a valuable connector and takes the spotlight off of you.  http://www.everydayhealth.com/depression/an-introverts-guide-to-happiness.aspx.

Below are a few other ways I have found useful in chasing happiness:

  • Get to know what it is that “you want” and what it is “you need.”
  • Learn to contend with gravity, society and yourself whether you are feeling insecure or weighed down by others more communicative around you. Do not judge yourself by what you see in the eyes of others.
  • Know where is a will, there is a way.
  • Connect with your true self, don’t mimic others.
  • Don’t let agitation blow through you like a cruel wind. Balance fun with rest and exercise.
  • Realize that the pure and simple truth is rarely pure and never simple.
  • Express yourself creatively, for purpose, and for better self-esteem. Journal, write, take photos, or garden. Whatever you enjoy will be your savior and your optimism fall like seeds to the moist warm ground to take root in the footsteps of others.


I have found great joy in creativity like writing articles and poetry on my website, sculpting clay, making jewelry, and doing other crafts.  Each project opens my heart to reach out to others and their smiles soothe my weary heart. Of course, without hands, I’d be totally alone, empty, and sad.

In any regard, I get great spiritual strength in words, “…the meek shall inherit the world. “  I believe no one is an accident. Trying new things is how we learn about ourselves. I am a proud writer, artist, and woman who may feel insufficient at times. I have found it is best to look at life honestly with courage.

To be truthful, I’m like deer in the forest, happiest and most confident when I’m least seen and most read.

  1. Avatar of Avivit Ben Moshe
    Avivit Ben Moshe says

    Awesome advice.
    I’m a fan 🙂

  2. Avatar of Daphne Shapiro
    Daphne Shapiro says

    Thank you, Joyce, for another fine article.
    Keep up the good work. I’m a fan too!

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