Something Old, Something New ~ Handfasting


In the virtual world, the only kind of guy I do NOT LIKE, is a degenerate abuser. I prefer my stories to have ‘happy ever after’ endings.

In real life, well …

I started with an intelligent, humorous, committed to me man, wrapped in the sexiest parts, all of which left it hard {no pun} to choose which part of the anatomy caused my glands to go into overdrive. To others, he looked like Buddy Holly, but without his clothes and glasses, there was my superman. My partner had hair, all over, a soft, down to pet and/or pull.

After forty-eight years, his butt, legs, hands, feet, torso, lips, and soothing honey-colored eyes still turn me on. His humor has carried us through the great times and the grinding times. He now has little hair on his head but who would know the Yul effect would tempt me too. His body has held up better than mine, and while the ending is bittersweet, there is more sweet than bitter.

In a near fatal accident, he kept me safe from harm while he endured many blows to his left frontal lobes causing him to go, his words, ‘into the darkness.’ On our forty-third anniversary he asked me not to leave him in a nursing home. I had never given that option a thought.

If you check out any of my stories or articles, you will see our life has never been easy but always to us, worth the extra mile.

HandfastingWhen he is in ‘the light,’ my constant companion and truly best friend is present. When he is ‘in darkness’ he regresses into childhood and the impish grin and attitude endears him, so being a mommy again is endured.

Because he cannot remember I no longer wear rings because of lymph edema, residual of two bouts of breast cancer, to quiet his fear of losing me, we had a Handfasting ceremony to celebrate our forty-eighth anniversary this month.

My sister-in-law opened her home, the house we lived in as young newly-weds. Ginia helped with gathering guests, food and drinks, and even with securing a verse from Google land for the dedication. With a slight rewording, as I knew I was incapable of saying vows without weeping, our Best Man, Paul’s life-long friend was asked to Officiate.

While Pat agreed to step into that role, he also said I must overcome and read aloud a specific part to Paul. I said I would try, I had wept at our first wedding.

The verse to be read by Pat

What can they do that is special and new
after they’ve grown old together?
What can they say in a special way
and keep the tone light as a feather?

What can they dream after all of their dreams
have either come true or else died?
Only a dream to do it again
if another chance God would provide.

I was to read the following words but Paul smiled and took the paper and read the words to me:

So let us renew the vows we once took.
Let us stand up and hold hands again.
Let us announce to all who will hear
that you are still my very best friend.

Let us be grateful for all that we have
and especially all we have not.
For all the memories that we hold dear
and for all of the ones we forgot.

Let us take every day as a gift
as the voice of our love whispers low
Love such as ours cannot be stilled.
Love such as ours only grows.

Pat, an altar boy in his younger days, ended the ceremony with “In The name of the Father, The Son, and The Holy Spirit, go in peace,” said in Latin.

The cranberry beads with purple and green ribbons to symbolize peace {as does our name, Shene} hang now in our bedroom for a reminder of our promise of unbroken friendship.

What is needed in a man or a woman is in each mind and spirit, all different. In my life, I wanted the best friend forever … With perks.

{Accompanying article and story: The Melting of The Ice Maiden}

  1. Avatar of Jack Eason
    Jack Eason says

    Beautiful Paula, truly beautiful. Reading it brought a tear to my eyes. Thank you for letting us all into a very private moment in your lives. 🙂 x

  2. Avatar of Paula Shene
    Paula Shene says

    Thank you, Jack.. My sister in law said it brought a tear to her eye, too, and she was the one who wrapped the beads around our wrists. It has helped when he looks at my hands, and then to the beads.

  3. Avatar of Theresa Taylor
    Theresa Taylor says

    Beautiful summary of your and Paul’s life. the ceremony sounded great. Sorry I missed it. Hope to see you at this years family reunion.

  4. Avatar of Paula Shene
    Paula Shene says

    Thanks for stopping by, Theresa. Sorry Pat is no longer with us to celebrate our reunion. We are blessed with his memory and his stepping up for us throughout milestones in our life.

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