Mr.J’s Social Networking Rant

Society
Avatar of Brandon Craig Jones Mr.JBy Brandon Craig Jones Mr.J
8

Now I don’t want to go off on a rant here, but from the Facebook user that updates their status to “I’m typing on Facebook”, to the Twitter user that follows his stalkers so they can cut down on looking into the mirror, to the YouTube user that scheduled a colonoscopy because they needed new footage to upload, privacy has become harder to find than the chub-baby of Jimmie Hoffa, Carmen San-Diego & Waldo while playing hide-n-seek and wearing camouflage stitched from four-leaf clovers.

Mr.J's Social Networking RantHere’s how you know if you rely on technology too much: If you make Zuckerberg with an unlimited gift certificate to Best Buy look like an 18th-century Amish elder during a power outage.

Truth be told folks, this pixilated portal to a sort of Social-networking-Stargate has been entered by Kurt Russell kids quicker than the dialogue of the Gilmore Girls rehearsing on Red bull & meth.

And it’s elicited a Macintosh-molecular reconfiguration of digital-discourse after caroming through the networking-nebulous, intergalactic-internet, Wi-Fi–wormhole, vernacular-vortex, transporting talking into typing and typing into texting that landed somewhere in a parallel universe orbiting computer-coded-cyber space in this Google-Galaxy generational-gap so exuberantly extreme that nowadays fetuses are posing for sonograms because their online profile needs a new default picture.

BOOK COVERBottom line, there’s no escaping this computer cage even if you’re system freezes because it all comes full circle to your frozen screen as you try to escape the thought of freezing by bird watching then you’ll see a robin thinking of Batman and Robin then reminding you of their diabolical nemesis, Mr. Freeze, freeze, see the word freeze again, there’s no escaping unless someone frees you, frees, wait frees sounds like the word freeze, damn it, see, vicious cycle.

Of course, that’s just my opinion, I could be (socially) wrong.

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Avatar of Brandon Craig Jones Mr.J
Brandon Craig Jones Mr.J

MR.J®
Brandon C. Jones:
UK Best Seller .MR.J® Awards:
Indie Print Press, Inc Book Awards (2011)
Angie's Diary VIP Award (2011)
Underground UK Publishing Book Awards (2011)

MR.J BIO:
Meet Mr. J, a mouth-breathing-barbaric-lousy-writer so self involved that he failed Astronomy 101 because he literally thought the world revolved around him. Someone once stole his identity but it was quickly returned . . . along with several others to choose from. Mr. J is writing a new book or as he called it "an Amish blog". It will probably have more unread pages than crack dealer's beeper during the 80's.

MR.J'S BOOK REVIEWS

Meet Mr. JPaperback: $11.95April 26, 2011
(1)Paperback: 68 pagesPublisher: Outskirts Press (April 26, 2011)
Language: EnglishAmazon Best Sellers Rank: #167 in Books

"Amphigory Almanac" ranked #38 on AMAZON'S TOP SELLER HUMOR BOOKS LIST July 17,2010 & Mr.J (brandon diddy jones) is nominated as BEST BREAKTRHOUGH AUTHOR 2011 by INDIEPRINT PRESS, INC For more information or to contact the author -topics.dallasnews.com/article/0fJz5Km9DIdOk?q=Barnes+%26+Noble%2C+Inc.

A-list Award Achieving Author, Mr.J is nominated by Indiepress Inc
July 17, 2010 Amphigory Almanac: Hebetudinous Humour, Pedantic Prose, & Linguistic Levity: Meet Mr. J ranked number 38 on AMAZON'S BESTSELLER HUMOR LIST.
-Amazon.com's Author Achievement

Amazon A-list Award Achieving Author, Mr.J is nominated by Indiepress Inc. as BEST BREAKTRHOUGH AUTHOR 2011.
-Muse Monthly Magazine

Mr.J's new book entitled AMPHIGORY ALMANAC is splendid, superb, and smart.
-Travel Trade Tribune

Mr.J commands the english language with terrific the power of Zeus that resonates from the surface of the page to the deepest crevice of the reader's imagination.
-Word-Nerd World Weekly

AMPHIGORY ALMANAC display's Mr.J's elogence and eloquence are subtle yet celebrated in this peice of paperback perfection.
-Elite English E-zine

Imagine if Mark Twain and Mitch Hedberg had a love-child of literature it would be named Amphigory Almanac.
-Quiet Quip Quarterly

AMPHIGORY ALMANAC's relentlessly razor sharp and remarkably rapid fire humor create the sparks that could set the entire sky on fire with wickedly wonderful wordplay.
-Geek Speak Gazzette

Make sure you have a dental plan before cracking open AMPHIGORY ALMANAC'S covers because it will be jaw dropping.
-Papercut Press Publishing

In the 19th century of fiction there was Lewis Carol, in the 20th century of fiction there was hemmingway, and now as readers embark the 21st century of fiction we fasten our eyes in awe to the newly named sultan of sonnets, the prince of prose, the wizard of wordsmiths: Mr. J.
-Novelist Newbie Network

What Edison was to electricity, what Marconi was to sound, and what terrible sitcoms was to Sherwood Shwartz is equivalent to what Mr.J is to comedic commantary.
-Bookworm Brodcasting Bros.

If boredom was a disease Mr.J's homerun hitting humor book AMPHIGORY ALMANAC would be the cure like insulin of intrigue to the diabetes of dullness.

Finally a voice for an unspoken generation speaks with acerbic wit and ear tickling vernacular that rings true. Parenthetically, 236 typos (i.e. errors of grammar, syntax, semantics, linguistics, etc) have been intentionally left, not to exasperate a maladroit writing skill, but to accent how frivolous and moot rules can be in creative writing. It's a "Where's Waldo" of Errors making it interactive for the grammar gurus' scrutiny. Sometimes the stream of consciousness may seem scatterbrained and unfocused, but this was not done adventitiously. Each word was diligently and rigorously labored over. The steadfast and unwavering pace of self deprecating and self disparaging levity reminds the reader that the mission of the book is to be jocular and jovial at its own faults, follies, and foibles. Debuting author, Brandon C. Jones, hits the scene with his complete collection of work. Each chapter is autonomous and non-interdependent on the others. It's the kind of treatise that can be read in several different settings without losing momentum. Tone, word choice and style fluctuate, but motifs of a throwback to archetypal Woody Allen's erudite absurdity act as the midwife to the birth of a refreshing style of American literature.

Mr.J is currently working on 3 new novels, a joke-a-day calendar, submissions for media, and is featured in USA TODAY reporting his nomination for the coveted "BEST BREAKTHROUGH AUTHOR 2011 AWARD" presented by the reviewers and staff of UK's underground publishing house, Indie-Press, INC.

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8 Comments
  1. Avatar of Angelica Pastorelli
    Angelica Pastorelli says

    Congratulations Mr. J! Your Rant seems to pay off!
    Kiss, Angie

    Reply
  2. Avatar of MR.J
    MR.J says

    Thanks Angie! Btw-did I reformat my profile correctly? Oh and I have some concepts I wanna shoot your way at your leisure-thanks in advance for your time.
    vr,
    MR.J

    Reply
    1. Avatar of Angelica Pastorelli
      Angelica Pastorelli says

      Format is great!
      Concepts? Shoot!

      Reply
  3. Avatar of MR.J
    MR.J says

    I’ll send ya an e-mail this weekend, Angie!
    MR.J

    Reply
  4. Avatar of mammabear
    mammabear says

    Love it!!

    Reply
  5. Avatar of Barbara Ehrentreu
    Barbara Ehrentreu says

    Love your rant, Mr.J and can’t wait to hear you in person on my show on August 25th.

    Reply
  6. Avatar of Mr.J
    Mr.J says

    I enjoyed reading it more than I did writing it and I enjoyed writing it.
    -Mr.J

    Reply
  7. Avatar of MrJ
    MrJ says

    Thx for all the supportive assertions!

    Reply
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