How Many Times Saying No?
How Many Times
Thinking back when I just met my husband, we were looking for one another almost every day. We were spontaneous, trying everything, making every room or place into a bedroom. We didn’t even make sure the atmosphere was set; we were just celebrating love as often as possible.
Then I got pregnant. For 9 months all the system was dry! I was so excited about the pregnancy, I didn’t even think about making love, I was already in love with the situation I was in. The first three months went reasonably well.
But when my belly grew further and further, I couldn’t even think about my body in a sexual way. I must admit, that when you consider all those crazy hormones, it’s a miracle that my husband stood by me so patiently.
Finally, my son was born. I was again high and naturally so much in love with him. I was ready to slave for this child 24 hours a day, comfortably ignoring my husband. Between waking up at night every four hours, and feeding, dressing, washing, shopping for my baby, hugging, and kissing him, I forgot to kiss and hug my own husband.
I remember how they tried to prepare me for this situation:
“Try to keep the evening with your husband.”
“Get someone to watch the baby while you go out eating or something.”
I thought they were joking. Did they all really expect me to leave my child alone?! It was too much to ask, too soon.
And then the only time that we actually got together, I got pregnant again, and the same story started all over. My poor husband! I really can’t understand how he kept up with this, for four years now, and two children later the situation is still difficult. I feel I mislead him, mistreated him. As if I lured him to bed, only to get the children, and once I had the children, I didn’t need him anymore.
I felt like some animals that use their mate only to get what they want and then kill him.
By the time I was ready to be reasonable again, and the hormones were in balance again, I understood that having sex is a necessity for men, but it didn’t convince my body. I just don’t really need it that often, if at all.
I am a freak.
I think that someone should make a sort of pocket card for all the ladies like me who want to contribute to their relationship, and help their men to feel like tigers.
And on this card should be the minimum times according to age and status, just like the card you get when shopping in Europe, to convert the sizes and measurements. And then maybe, wives and husbands could get some peace and quiet in their relationship.