Don’t Forget…

Home » Short Story Contest 2013 » Don’t Forget…

After striking ‘Uncle’ Matt unconscious with a tire wrench, Benny proceeded to squeeze one end of a rubber hose through the slit of the car window; the other end in the tailpipe.

He started the engine, closed the door, and walked away into the night, while his thoughts wandered back to his childhood when he was still a cheerful little boy…


“Goaaaaaal,” Otto shouted excitedly, when Benny, whose turn it was to be the keeper, had failed to stop his shot.
Otto’s Uncle Matt recovered the ball, and the three of them resumed their Football match.

It was a special weekend for the boys, as Uncle Matt had taken them to a camping site near the beach.  Otto and his uncle had been there before, but for Benny everything was new and exciting. What he liked most of all was to be taken seriously and treated with respect by a senior person.

For Benny, even the ‘Fish and Chips’ they had for dinner was a special treat on this perfect Saturday, and Uncle Matt had taught them how to play chess until it was almost midnight.

Exhausted by the exercise and the warm weather, Otto yawned and slumped in his chair.
“Don’t Forget to pee and brush your teeth,” Uncle Matt told him, putting the chess pieces back in its box, while Otto stepped out of the camper to go to the camping’s lavatories.
“You’d better prepare for bed too, Benny,” Uncle Matt said, giving him a wink.

When Benny came back to the camper, he was surprised to find Otto and his uncle already in what appeared to be the only bed. But, being a small boy, he supposed that would probably be all right.

“How cozy!” Uncle Matt said cheerfully, folding back the bed sheet to let him in.
“Now let’s find out if Benny is really a big boy too.”

5 Responses to "Don’t Forget…"

  1. Craig Murray  December 30, 2013 at 2:42

    a very tight and concise bit of flash fiction, well done

  2. Judy Markova  December 30, 2013 at 15:36

    Oh, yes, I totally agree!
    Love the start with the flash forward, keeping the reader guessing until the last sentence.
    This is exactly what a short short story should be. Congrats.

    • Cynthia Emily Griggs - Niswonger  December 30, 2013 at 19:53

      Very clean. Evocative—nice!

  3. Kristin Fouquet  December 31, 2013 at 3:17

    I loved the use of flashback here and the ending. This is a strong piece indeed.

  4. clara54  January 18, 2015 at 18:36

    And that’s how it’s done! Loved it because it left me emotionally repulsed by the details.


Leave a Comment

This article has received 283 unique views