V-Day: You Either Love it or Hate it!
Feeling fazed already by this happiest of lovey-dovey days in the year? Is it just a commercial hype when the memory of Christmas sales is long gone and Easter still weeks away?
You probably love it if you are in a relationship. For many singles, however, who don’t have the prospect of being showered with cards or affection, V-Day can become a red flag and feel like a very lonely day.
If you are single, the world suddenly seems to exist only for happy couples. When I was single, I felt like an outsider looking in. So how to find your soul mate? That’s the $64,000 question. Lucky the ones who found their mate in school! At a later stage in life and if you’re divorced or widowed, it becomes more difficult. You may have tipped your toes in the dating pool and experienced that dating rules have changed over time.
Why is it so difficult these days to meet somebody in spite of all the possibilities that social networking and the Internet provide: dating sites, chat rooms, and singles events? Even churches organize singles nights now. Still you can be out on dates every other night, yet not find that elusive partner.
As a former matchmaker in Ireland, my advice to singles is to stay open to what life has to offer you, to explore new avenues and hobbies; to be proactive and go out and mingle. You may have to leave your comfort zone a little. Even if you don’t meet the person you are looking for straight away, you won’t meet anyone when you stay at home. Although it may be hard to find the time and energy- especially when you work and have children to look after- to get out of the house and away from your TV. Fate doesn’t come knocking on your door and serve Mr. Right/Ms. Right on a silver platter – nor does the pizza delivery man. So plan to spend some time every week out of the house socializing and structure whatever free time you have accordingly.
Ask yourself: Are you ready for a new relationship? Are you carrying around baggage from your last relationship? Another piece of advice is to have a good look at yourself as seen through the eyes and mirror of a prospective partner: Are there areas in your life or about yourself that could be improved on? Do you know how you come across to other people? In short: Would you date yourself? Make some modest changes if necessary. This may be an unexpected approach but be of help in your search.
For more tips on dating check out my book Next Time Lucky: How to Find Your Mr. Right, which is a story based on my experiences both as a dating expert and pioneer online dater.