New Friends for Introverts
Having a hard time finding people who ‘get’ you?
It is generally harder to create new friendships when we are adults. But, outgoing people manage it with more ease than introverts. If you are experiencing difficulties in this area, you might be curious to learn more about how to make new friends as an adult.
Friendships are an integral part of our lives, and they undoubtedly bring a lot of joy! However, it is not always simple to find friends. Of course, some people are natural at making friends – they are gregarious, chatty, enthusiastic, and above all, charming. If this description applies to you, you certainly have no issue finding as many friends as you need. Some of us, however, can’t say that we find making new friendships to be a piece of cake.
Finding friends is probably easier for children – they see each other every day in school, parks, neighborhoods, and so on. They are also likely to easily find common interests such as music, movies, books, etc., and form friendships based on that. But for adults, things are a bit more complicated and even more so if they are introverts.
Myths and Truths about Introverts
There are many misconceptions about introverts. If you are an introverted person, for sure, you have experienced that people see you as shy or cold. Or maybe that they don’t invite you to parties and other social events because they think you prefer to be left alone to reflect on the meaning of life and so on.
However, things are not as simple as they might seem. Most introverts are neither shy nor unemotional nor any of these things. Indeed they need time for themselves to think about things; they don’t run to every party and talk just about anything. However, the same as extroverts, introverted people are also social beings and need friends. They enjoy meeting new and interesting people, exploring new places, and trying new things just like everyone does. The only difference is that they do it on a smaller but deeper scale.
Find New Friends as an Introverted Person
One problem with finding friends when you are an introvert is that you are automatically looking for a deeper connection. You don’t want to spend time in frivolous conversations but connect with people who understand you, share similar interests, and have a similar rhythm of life. Another thing is that people around you will probably have some misconceptions about you and won’t invite you to hang out with them. So what can you do when you want to make new friends?
We were wondering about the same thing and decided to talk with experts and introverted people who wanted to share their experiences and ideas with us. In this text, we share with you some tips on how to find new friends that came out of these conversations.
Five Tips for Meeting New People
- Think About Your Expectations
As an introvert, you probably spend some time getting motivated to go out and mingle in the first place. Most likely, your biggest concern is whether you are going to have fun, isn’t it? And naturally, you worry about being bored out of your mind after making an effort to go out in the hope of meeting some interesting people. The thing is that when you are on a mission to find new friends locally, you mustn’t go to places expecting that you will immediately find an ideal friend. Instead, tell yourself that you will probably go to different boring parties before you find good friends, but you have to start somewhere. Think of it, for example, as if you are starting a new workout program. When you are doing exercises you haven’t done before, you have to invest extra effort before you see the results. - Make the First Step
When thinking about ways to find new friends to chat with or do other things, we are often convinced that we have to go somewhere we haven’t been before. However, this doesn’t always have to be the case. Maybe there is someone that you might find an interesting and like-minded person in your neighborhood, office, etc. We suggest that you try to start a conversation with them. Most introverts have experienced some strange situations while interacting with others, so they are afraid to be rejected when they reach out to others. But you don’t get anywhere by wondering how you are going to handle it if someone refuses to have a beer or a cup of coffee with you! Bite the bullet, instead, and ask them! You might be surprised by the outcome. - Find Groups of People Who Share Your Interests
One of the questions people often ask is where to find new friends? Keep in mind that whatever you like to do, there are certainly others who share that passion. If the coffee shop where you drink your morning cup of joe has a message board, check to see if there are some book club announcements, hiking tours, or something like that. Also, if you like games, this might be a way to find gaming friends. - Look for Friends Online
With the limitations of the pandemic, we are generally facing the problem of managing our social lives. When this started, many introverts took it as a sign to postpone their plans for meeting new friends. However, it is essential to know that this situation doesn’t mean we shouldn’t interact with people.
But how to make new friends during COVID, you may wonder? Well, it’s relatively simple – you are going to do it online. In a normal situation, we would say it is better to talk with people face to face. However, with all restrictions and social distancing advice, we are going to give you some ideas on how to make new friends online. One thing that you can do is search among the friends of your friends and see if there is someone who you find interesting enough to start a conversation on Facebook or Twitter.
Also, there are plenty of groups on social media where you can find a lot of like-minded people. If you don’t feel comfortable immediately befriending someone, you can engage in a discussion on a topic that interests both of you. After some time, you will receive or send friend requests, and you may start to have a private conversation that can grow to be a close friendship. Additionally, if you notice that the group that you are looking for doesn’t exist, you can create one. Indeed, a lot of people will appreciate it. - Expand Small Talk
Small talk is something that most introverts consider boring. Experts recommend you prepare a bunch of questions that can serve as ice breakers before you leave your home. If you give it some thought, we are sure that you can find way more creative questions than “what do you do for a living?”. To provide you with an idea, you can ask someone, “Have you seen a good movie lately?” or “have you read this book?” This can help you get to know people on a deeper level in a short time.
Conclusion
One important thing to remember when you are an introvert looking to find new friends is that you have to forget about the fear of failure and rejection. Indeed these things might happen, but it doesn’t mean that you should stop trying altogether. Maybe you will come across someone who perfectly understands you the very next time you go out! Do you see yourself as an extrovert or introvert? What are your experiences with trying to make new friends?
