Do You Feel Something is Missing?


When we’re lonely and stuck in a box of “Only Ifs, Whys, and Why-Nots,” there is always a knot in our stomachs that screams “Something is missing!”

Maybe, we must admit humans need other beings around to be healthy and happy. Ironically, the lonelier we are. the less we’ll get along with others. If you’re in this category, get yourself a dog or pet. They will make you laugh and they will give you the joy of feeling needed. I have two Dachshunds myself. I will admit I spend a lot of time alone at my computer with them sitting not too far away.

dachshundAs much as I love my husband, he’s not much of a talker, and his company is just not quite enough. I have a husband and kids I love to spend time with, especially my grandchildren. I think I feel lonely because I’m not an integral part of anyone else’s social circle.

Then there’s the problem with my job. I’m a freelance writer, and I work alone at a big desk at home. There are many days when I don’t utter a single word to anyone but my husband. You can’t buy the answer to this kind of desperate neediness to be central in another’s world.

Even at night, those like me have chaotic sleep along with nightmares, with more micro-awakenings during the night. They also suffer increased negativity, depressive thinking, heightened sensitivity to social threats, and trouble with impulse control. Our minds continue to be vigilant for social rejection, or threats of any kind even as we slept. As a result, we tend to get drowsy during the day and miss new chances for social interaction.

Life is too short to waste any amount of time wondering what other people think about you. It is, in fact, true that toxic people want you to hate yourselves. “Poor Me,” Such futile words. We may not say them but we’ve all felt them. Every second that we spend doubting our own self-worth, we are chipping away at our own potential and wellness. We all are unique in body, thought, and heart. We are special, living in the moment, as was planned. We must guard against feeling over-whelmed or not good enough when comparing ourselves to others. The biggest struggle in our life is the struggle to know, embrace, and accept ourselves with all our quirks, faults and imperfections.

Try some exercises to relieve yourself from negativity:
1. Pay attention to what is not working in your life, and determine what is your irritant? Then, try to reduce its influence in your life.
2. Take notice of what works for you and gives you pleasure. Then try giving pleasure to others. Giving and self-lessness are good for your soul and theirs.
3. Don’t overthink failures. They are lessons. Learn and Accept. Let Go and Grow!
4. Listen to your intuitions and follow your heart. Your mind will be pleased.
5. Stop allowing other people to dilute or poison your thoughts.
6. Our heart can shine a light on others of how special we are.
7. Self-love must come from our heart, our mind, and our soul.
8. Over-thinking the words “Poor Me” goes against your own best interest.

Nothing is more important than a healthy sense of self-esteem. This prevents you from beating yourself up or dragging yourself down over past mistakes or temporary setbacks. This takes courage and practice. With all our faults and imperfections, the biggest struggle in life is to know, embrace, and accept ourselves.

I wrote this poem in one of my down periods:
If you feel lost in the garden of souls forgotten like my inner child sometimes does, drinking in the pearled dew, while waiting hour after hour, for reprieve and absolution, a willow next to us, trembling knowingly the trials we’re facing, a swan singing a melody nearby, all of us living by breath alone, whispering “Where is our God, why has he forsaken us?”

Remember, there will always be someone willing to hurt you, put you down, gossip about you, belittle your accomplishments and judge you unworthy. We are living in an era of dehumanization. We have grown numb to less social interaction by way of new technology. Even so, no one has the right to say or do anything that diminishes us in our own eyes, not our politicians, our neighbors, our fellow churchgoers or our domestic partners.

Hurting a person’s dignity should be labeled a crime but it is not. So, we must hold ourselves up during those moments when others try to tear us down. When we maintain our self-assurance, we’re like comets hitting a new atmosphere. We can uncover feelings of self-assurance that we didn’t know existed when we stay positive. Have a clear vision of yourself as a shooting star like me. I’m not going to die out if I fight to believe I am special, just as I was created to be.

Remember, life can beat us down and the walls we build can be so dense that even our dearest friends, partners, spouses and children can’t get in. Imagine how our world be different if we stopped allowing other people to dilute or poison our moments their words or opinions.

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