Understanding Destructive Emotions in Our Lives

Destructive Emotions

Emotions are a wild, untamed entity that erupts from the bowels of our souls. They can be feelings that can nurture and love.

Emotions can also be wild and destructive. As most people do each day, I battle my emotions and eventually realize they have changed.

From my perspective, environments greatly affect the way that individuals tackle their feelings. One great example is from my youth. I decided to go out to dinner with my friend Charlie.

Charlie was a young man who rarely spoke much to those he wasn’t familiar with. He was very private and occasionally enjoyed traveling and tasting new foods.

One day, we went to an Italian restaurant in downtown Manhattan. Charlie fit right in, wearing a black suit and matching loafers.

On the other hand, I wasn’t accustomed to rubbing elbows with anyone from that specific area. My siblings and I were raised in a poor section of Brooklyn, so I couldn’t afford to buy formal clothing.

That day, I wore loose drawstring pants with a tank and sandals. When Charlie and I walked in together, we appeared to be opposite individuals. Most of the people in the restaurant turned their heads, their faces written with looks of disgust and shock. Some even relocated themselves to other seats.

Despite the embarrassment I felt, I kept my composure and sat down to make an order. As Charlie began to order, one of the waiters approached him and rudely asked, “What’s a Sicilian like you doing with a dirty street girl?” His remark infuriated me. Street girl? Was it because I was African American and Charlie was Sicilian?

My stomach began to cramp, and my sight became blinded with rage. However, I managed to calm the fires in my chest. Before I could make a retort, I looked over at Charlie. He glared at the waiter as if he could rip out his throat. I saw him grab a knife at the table and rise to his feet. He said something like,”You thought that was funny, right, you rat bastard? Well, I’ve got a little joke for you! How do you pull this knife outta ya hand?”

The waiter had been standing close to the table, and Charlie instantly thrust the knife into his hand! The impact of it slamming down onto the table made a loud thud that caused others to shake in their seats.

The waiter’s hand was swollen, and spurts of blood were pouring from his injury. He began to lean away from Charlie and look to others for help. Satisfied with the harm he inflicted, I could see an evil smirk go across his face. He calmly pulled on his tie and threw a tip on the table. I knew that this was the perfect opportunity to make a speedy exit.

That night at the restaurant, my emotions became a hurricane that spun out of control. I started our evening excited and anxious. By the end of it, I felt pity for Charlie and the man who had insulted me. I pitied Charlie because I felt that he should have been mature enough to cool his temper. I pitied the waiter because he was ignorant, and in the end, it landed him on a trip to the emergency room.

From that day on I continued to talk to Charlie, until his demise one summer in 1999. He was only 19 years old and was murdered in an argument that went wrong. His destructive emotions governed his thoughts and how he presented himself to others. Sometimes, we must tuck them away and let rationality control our conduct.