I am Human

I am Human

I’ve made mistakes on the daily
Growing, it don’t feel like it
Pretty normal
I’ve told lies
and I lie down with myself
knowing what lies beneath
the flesh and the blood

my soul reaches out into the atmosphere
trying to clear away the dust and the smoke
trying not to choke on the tears that form pools upon my pillow
quietly I surrender to the darkness and levitate just outside of myself
watching my chest rise and fall with each breath

trying to understand why I must always complicate things so
so very complex a being am I when doing
but I’m always doing something
and my somethings don’t always make damn good sense

I got’s a lot of that too…at least I used to
it was ingrained with that Madea-kind of grooming
she’d hit ya’ ass with a shoe if you get out of line
and damn sure give you something to be crying about
now shut ya’ damn mouth

I retreated then as I retreat now
in my mind, I proceeded to tell her how I really felt
but those words never got past my lips
I dare not speak them
And today that still holds true
there are some words that just don’t come any further than my mind
strained at times
so overloaded with words

stifled emotion
stagnating my forward motion
found with spinnin’ wheels in mud
churned and splattered over in mud
covered clouded completely in mud
trying to get unstuck

loose change that don’t make a buck
fuck the dumb shit
but I’m waist-deep in it
where does the road to self appear as silver lining on a placid moon
calmed serenity
painted bluey skies
softly churning water across the rocks
white foam crashing onto the sanded beaches
canopied covered jungles sun peering through the branches

second chances come if you see them
take the time to be them
I stop doing now
As if this be my last breath
I avow to myself for better
I decree my miracle
No longer hindered

A splendor is ignited
I am turning struggle loose
loving me
as I am
human
transforming into being
as I am
soul

an undeniable force
and I must lift my voice
It’s time to sing
in or outside of the rain
I give thanks for all things and for once
stand in that knowledge
assured and at peace…