The Bright Light
I have hit so many bumps
on the road of discouragement,
and all I ever wanted
was to get an education
and take care of myself.
I just wanted to reach that
bright light for just once,
but it keeps moving away
like it wants no part of me.
The faster I walk towards the light,
the faster it gets away from me.
I feel like that bright light is taunting me.
I need the comfort of that bright light
to protect me as I prepare to sleep
on the bathroom floor of a gas station.
This is the safest place for me
while my mother prostitutes
in our home daily.
If I just had enough energy
I would walk miles away
to the local hospital
and sleep on the couch.
I could even get a free breakfast
from the manager of the cafeteria.
But the free food would not be worth it
because the manager has arms
like a fishing rod, and I was his big catch.
That bright light seems like
its coming towards me
because things have been
going well with me.
My mother has gotten help,
and she is no longer prostituting.
I just got my college degree,
and my life feels so complete.
But suddenly, that bright light
is moving away again,
and I can see a cloud of darkness
moving towards me like a hurricane.
My body feels like it’s numb with pain,
and I want vengeance on the man
who did this to me.
That dark cloud warned me,
and that bright light escaped me.
Why does this keep happening to me?
The rapist nearly killed me.
That bright light is back again,
and it looks like it’s here to stay.
I am now married to a wonderful man,
and I live in a beautiful home
with a white picket fence.
But I start to freeze
as I see another dark cloud
coming my way,
and that flaky bright light
headed towards another way.
My husband no longer wants me
because I can’t give him babies.
This hurts so badly.
I am hurt so much
until I can’t even make any tears
come down my eyes
as hard as I am trying.
The dark cloud is here to stay,
and the bright light is gone for good.
I am now working
in a world of prostitution.
It gives me a life
that makes me forget
that I was raped
and that I lost my husband.
Yea, there must be
a generational curse in my family
because there are plenty of them
As I lay in this bed
exhausted from working,
I suddenly feel
a strange breeze over my head.
I realized that breeze
came from an open window,
but something else was happening to me.
I was becoming convicted by God
who I felt never paid much any attention to me.
He told me that he loves me unconditionally;
he said that he’s the only bright light in my life.
I am now at peace with myself,
and I got away from that
prostitution world of hell.
I have forgiven my mom
who neglected me,
the man who raped me,
my husband who left me
and anybody else who hurt me.
I am now free and not worried
about the bright light coming near me.