Alleasyum, alleasyum,
I sure do wish I had me some.
It takes the cake, it cleans the pool,
it keeps your moustache looking cool,
it makes the dropout stay in school,

It picks your nose, it sorts your mail,
it puts the wind back in your sail,
it even dusts the dusty trail,

It beats the band, reduces sludge,
it bakes a fairly decent fudge,
it hardly ever holds a grudge,

It pays the bills, unsticks the stuck,
it fixes flats on car or truck,
it grows hair on a rubber duck,

It calms the nerve, it dries the tear,
it blows the wax out of your ear,
it makes your wife abstain from beer,

Alleasyum, alleasyum,
I sure do wish I had me some.

  1. Avatar of Andy Bachman
    Andy Bachman says

    Brilliantly funny.

    1. Avatar of curmudgeon
      curmudgeon says

      Thanks very much Andy Bachman. I apologize for the late response. I appreciate your comment. 🙂

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