When my mom died in my arms, just a couple weeks earlier, I was lost in grief and began throwing clay onto an armature in a vicious attack needing a way out of my pain.
Bereavement is not easy for us who selfishly want our loved ones close to us for our comfort. I was not prepared to let her go even after months of watching her health decline. My grief seemed to give my hands wings to express my pain. They flew around fiercely in a way I can only compare to – – automatic writing. The figure quickly became my mom. Whenever my spirit needs reviving, I can look at her, touch her sculpture and talk to her. Sometimes it takes longer to digest art than to make it. I gave her a place in my home close to my heart and wrote poems about her.
After clay, I turned to poems, illustrations and even photographs of old barns to speak for me. They intrigued me as they stood alone in fields aching for attention. It did not take a genius to see how Mother Nature wrapped her arms around them and us, too, with quiet strength and compassionate beauty, holding us up to high expectations. I did not take pictures for others. I took them for my peace and wellness. Photography can be a lot of fun and a great emotional release. Photographs also make great gifts. They are an excellent way to record your world.
Subtly all my years of creative expression turned my feeling good to others feeling good; sweeping me into a kind of story that was bigger than I ever intended. I was not always a willing participant in God’s plan for me. To be honest, if I hadn’t been ill, I would never have had the opportunity or the time to explore the arts. There were even times when I wanted to run away from the black letters pouring from my heart into print. I stuffed a lot of pain away for a lot of years. Unfortunately for those like me, fear often dictates how love, happiness, and success we think we are unworthy of.
Effexor XR has a Self-Quiz on the internet to take if you think you might be suffering from depression.
Do you have these symptoms?
Constant sadness, Lack of Motivation Irritability Trouble Concentrating Feelings of isolation, as if not involved. With family and friends Loss of interest in favorite activities. Hopelessness, feeling worthless or guilty for no reason. Thoughts of death or suicide. Fatigue Low energy. Trouble sleeping. Significant weight change.
Do these symptoms affect your ability to be yourself and function on a daily basis?
Do your symptoms interfere with your interaction with family and friends or your enjoyment of favorite hobbies or activities?
If you have several of these symptoms, seek out a health care professional or talk with your doctor about the disease that makes so many of us losers instead of winners.