How Do We Say Goodbye?

By Joyce White Last updated Aug 23, 2024

How Do We Say Goodbye?

Table of Contents

The two hardest things to say in life are hello for the first time and goodbye for the last time, creating a pathway between the Already and the Not Yet.

We cannot truly heal from a loved one’s death until we allow ourselves to FEEL the loss of a loved one in our hearts. Some of us today are even saying our last goodbyes through glass windows by hands reaching out to the living hands of loved ones. Death is one of the few things we all have in common.

Groucho Marx, the comedian, said, “I intend to live forever or die trying.” We all bow to Groucho who brought smiles & laughter that is timeless.

These unworldly circumstances are happening all over the world. As for myself, I know it is at night when darkness fills me with fear. Why, oh, Why? At least that was how it was for me when my husband died two years ago. I think he got Covid in 2018, not 2019. Covid was unknown back then, but after he got terrible flu, everything went downhill.

He died after getting Chemo for six months for cancer. His lungs were so damaged, he had to be put on life support. After that, I wonder why I am alive? I was four years older than him. It should have been me. It is not uncommon that all these Covid deaths have left scar tissue in our hearts with emotional and physical damage.

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Angel Poem

I am an 11:11 angel, I pray to be a celestial artisan at night, that my soul be sprinkled with passionate thoughts when I am tired, I let their angelic wings fan me with healing energetic breezes,

let them light my eyes with the lamps of wisdom so I can see what is right or wrong, and how to beat Satan at his game, give me the creative license of mixing pain and pleasure, terror, and hope,

bless me with celestial knowing, wit, wryness, color, and an angelic sense of timing, wake me out of a sound sleep, and give me words to translate pain and loneliness into a form we can all understand,

and let my optimism fall like seeds to the moist warm ground to take root in the footsteps of others.

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Death and Dying

I feel the need to honor all those who have faced death and dying these last two years. We must give ourselves time to argue the point with our maker. How do we do this? Read, go the net, go to church, seek out friends to talk with. Honor your loved ones by making a painting or write a story. Sometimes any activity is better than none.

Many of us must mourn properly for healing. Each of us will accomplish this last stage of grief. I do not believe there is such a thing as good Grief. The Dictionary advises good grief as, “…expressing alarm, dismay, or some other, and negative emotions.”

My mom some 40 years ago hollered good-grief a lot when something went wrong. If she dropped something, or if Pops would not change his clothes or give her money. You know the times when such howls shooting out of your mouth, spontaneously and unplanned.com

Karma

Sometimes we win, and sometimes we lose. We are imperfect species living in an imperfect world. Another problem is Karma. Karma will get you if you do not respect your life and the life around you. You are a winner if you are reading this. I feel like a winner too, still writing and throwing out inspiration to others. If you do not know what a broken heart is, you might compare a broken heart to having a broken leg that never heals. It still hurts when the weather gets cold, but you learn to dance with the limp anyway.

Make Room for Humor in your Life. Smiles received usually are given back:

Winston Churchill, the politician, advises, “I am prepared to meet my maker. Whether my maker is prepared for the great ordeal of the meeting is another matter.”

Lord Byron, the poet, advised, “All tragedies are finished by a death, all comedies by a marriage.”

Johnny Carson, the talk show host, said, “For three days after death, hair and fingernails continue to grow but phone calls taper off.”

“Death is a delightful hiding place for weary men.” Says Herodotus, a historian.

We must keep busy meditating, exercising, or reading and writing, to still the sharp unending pain. Keeping busy doing something you love will help take your mind off the fire in your stomach. Also, helping others turns your light on others, which incidentally gets you out of the darkness.

For Christians, the Scriptures can bring unexplainable peace if you allow them to speak to your heart and mind. Belief in any religion is most important right now, it is just so sad to the killings while people are praying. One black Asian woman who survived a church shooting says, “She will never close her eyes to pray again. So sad. This broke my heart.

Whether death comes as a sudden shock or something we have been prepared for, nothing can ease the pain like the hope-filled words of the Bible. Matthew 10:28 tells us, be yourself; everyone else is already taken…then, begin living like it is heaven here on earth. Try holding God’s goodness in your heart while battling evil.

Guide to Peace of Mind:

Be the change that you wish to see in the world. Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Do not waste time. Darkness cannot drive out darkness, only light can do that. We all can be the beam of light that can walk others out of their darkness. What is the only thing that can steal our peace? Our thoughts. We can overthink and analyze. Not good. If you are feeling troubled, what is causing it? Choosing not to allow other’s expectations to worry you.

Gratitude

George Burns, an actor, and comedian tells us, “I can’t afford to die.” He probably does not fear death because his Gracie is waiting for him. He was played God handsomely in the movie “Oh, God.” Recently, he said, “I’m incredibly pleased to be here. Let us face it, at my age, I’m incredibly pleased to be anywhere.” That goes for me, too. How about you? If you are alive to complain, you are a winner. Confessions are good for the soul, so try and answer these questions with pen and paper:

Right now, I feel…
I am the saddest when?
What or Who do I miss the most?
How has death changed me?
See a good terror movie, and rejoice, it was only fictional.

Brian Oldwolf, a comedian and blogger, warns us, “Death is inevitable, some might even say it is a terminal inconvenience…but consider death as one of the few “sure things” in life, and it is also something all of us have in common.

Check out… Funny and Clever Quotes by Brian About Mortality, Death, and Dying – Holidappy – Celebrations.

As our denial and anger subside, we sometimes fall into depression and anxiety. Some describe this state as frozen anger. Loss of a loved one or even a loyal pet can wreak havoc in our hearts for years. It may be necessary to seek medical help and medicines to overcome states like depression and anxiety.

Important questions to ponder when death smacks you down:

What must I do to return to my old self?
Do I respect others?
Have I a clear understanding of mortality?
Do my loved ones support me emotionally?
Do I give too much?
Or do I take too much?
Do I balance work, rest, and exercise?
Am I a sponge absorbing all that is around me?
Am I a half-full cup or a half-empty cup?
Do I want to be of value to others?
Do I take my sorrow to God in prayer?
Am I prepared to meet my maker?
Seek out love. What do you need?

If you have love, you can see the universe.

Every step we take is a stride full of eagerness and adventure. Love is best served when our realities are better than our dreams. Perhaps, most of us feel wherever love resides, it is a deep and profound sense of spontaneous adoration for another.
Love, Rhyme & Reason

Did you know there are more praise songs in the Bible than anything else? The Psalms alone contain more than sixty-five songs, including ones for fallen warriors, and for illnesses, victims of suffering, and songs for the dead, and many more.

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