The Trouble with Sex
We all chase that ‘feeling good’ flowering emotion in motion. We put our hope, dreams, and sometimes our hard-earned money into the four rituals of getting there; attraction, sexual stimulation, orgasm and resolution.
I wonder if such expectations actually bring closer together or actually tear us further apart. Is talking what you suffer through to get to sex?
Men are strongly attracted to women with large breasts, thinner waists and broad hips. All these attributed to female pheromones. Likewise, women prefer men bigger than they are. Growth and degree of handsomeness can be attributed to human pheromones. Women want to be prettier and smarter. Men want to compete with us rather than bow to our pheromones.
Women need foreplay. Cuddling. A little hand action to the G-spot. It is also true some of us cannot fully satisfy our sexual instinct without love. Men need to fear less and talk more. To conquer fear is the beginning of desire for both sexes. The sad reality is that many of us don’t take the time to express our desires before sexual intercourse. I don’t think any of us should rush into sex. Steve Martin, the comedian says, “Don’t have sex man. It leads to kissing and pretty soon you have to start talking to them.”
A funny thing, millions have been invested in sexual arousal for women but nothing works as good as talking. Researchers tell us that there are four distinct reasons when women say no to sex; lack of desire, lack of arousal, pain on intercourse and lack of orgasm. I’m thinking there is a fifth. Timing is so important. She may want sex but it is just not the right time.
Yes, it is true women get tired and don’t feel the need for sex like men do. We want to have sex when we look good and are energetic enough to seduce rather than be blindsided. We don’t want to have sex with jerks. And, if sex is painful, we don’t want to do it. Our bodies usually follow our heads when it comes to arousal.
Trials have shown us that Viagra can help some women with lack of arousal by increasing blood flow to the genitals just like men. Because men reach their sexual peak at eighteen and women reach theirs at thirty-five, don’t you think the Science is playing a practical joke on the genders? For those of us who are addicted to “feeling good;” sex is kind of like air, it is only important if you’re not getting any.
Perhaps passing the buck to arousal drugs actually causes more fear and confusion between the genders. It causes conflict rather than pleasure when Science tries to outwit Mother Nature. Whether we like it or not, sex sometimes results in intimacy for our men and intimacy leads to sex for women. In summary, nobody dies from lack of sex. It is lack of love we die from.
The Trouble with Sex
The electric orgasm
With lightning bolts
The electric orgasm.
Erin Elizabeth Kelly-Moen
© Copyright 3/30/07