Decreased Sex Drive? 10 Possible Reasons
Decreased Sex Drive
10 Reasons That Can Contribute to a Decreased Sex Drive
You already know that dissatisfaction in the bedroom can ultimately lead to a decreased sex drive. As can those other common things like problems within the relationship such as tension, communication issues or health-related problems that can range from pain in your head to pain in your bum.
There are hundreds of causes of a decreased sex drive. I’ll focus on a shortlist of 10 that have not been talked to death but could be contributing problems to your decreased desire for a little fuzzy bumpin’.
Getting little time for snoozin’ per night can lower testosterone levels in females and males. Lower testosterone levels mean lower sex drive. So, before you hit the sack to make love, try hitting it for some sleep first. If you or your partner is sleep-deprived and your sex drive isn’t up to par, it may be as simple as getting your sleep in order. That isn’t to say getting enough sleep is simple, but the answer may be.
Not only do periods of minimal sleep affect your levels of testosterone, just one night of bad sleep can leave you exhausted mentally and physically, and for some of us, that’s enough to stomp on sexual pleasure. It’s hard to feel anything but exhausted when you’re exhausted!
Things You Can Do To Get Better Sleep
Believe me, I know that for a lot of people, getting good sleep isn’t as easy as cutting down on caffeine and going to bed early. For some people, more action is required.
For insomniacs, medication is often required. Most times, a good book and a clean, comfortable bed are all I need to get straight to snoozin’, but there are times when sleep goes M.I.A.
For those who aren’t insomniacs, but just have trouble finally getting to sleep or trouble staying asleep, or those who just can’t sleep deeply enough, there are some remedies that help.
For instance, herbs such as Valerian root. Herbal teas are really effective as well. Chamomile is a popular tea used to help with stress, increase relaxation and even help some people sleep. It is relaxing, and when I’m having trouble getting relaxed enough to sleep, I drink a warm cup of it. Green tea can have similar effects due to its L-Theanine content.
And then there are times when a warm drink just doesn’t keep you asleep. For those desperate times, I use an OTC, “non-habit forming” sleep aid. I reserve these only for when I go through a phase where I can’t sleep at all or when my sleep is very out of order. They have been said to have negative long-term effects on the brain, so I try to only use them when necessary.
One OTC that I’ve used to help me sleep just a tiny bit deeper is melatonin supplements. These too can be harmful since even short-term use can cause the brain to stop producing its own melatonin, which leaves you either with serious sleep troubles or requiring a supplement to sleep at all. Again, I reserve these for desperate times.
For safer remedies to your sleeping woes, I recently learned that taking your calcium + magnesium supplement at night rather than in the morning can benefit you greatly where relaxation and sleep is concerned. Calcium relaxes you and magnesium does too. Combined, the two work even better to get you to dreamland.
- Hops extract (Hops, the flower) – used as a sedative for both anxiety and insomnia, and yes, the ones used to make beer – are supposed to be great for inducing sleep, although I’ve not tried this one yet.
- Lavender is known for its calming effects. Using soap or lotion with real lavender extract before bed can be helpful, although I use organic lavender soap and a lavender spray deodorant nightly and hardly ever feel sleepy afterward.
- And of course, there’s meditation, yoga, and the like. I have tried both, but couldn’t get the yoga to stick and meditation is still one I’ve yet to manage without my mind trailing to other things.
We know that depression, certain medications, stress, and sleep deprivation are all very common sex-drive killers, but they aren’t the only things that can affect your sex drive in a negative way.
When stress, sleep deprivation, depression, and certain medications are the cause of a decreased sex drive, they tend to be easier to pinpoint as the cause than other things that tend to silently create problems in your life, such as your sex drive.
Some of these things may be:
- Low blood pressure.
- Abnormal thyroid.
And these are just a few things to take into consideration if you experience a decrease in sex drive.
Diabetes causes testosterone levels to decrease, which is clearly a big sex-drive-slasher. This isn’t even the only reason that diabetes can negatively affect one’s sex drive. Diabetes is also a painful condition, and obviously being in pain creates real issues in one’s ability to enjoy sex.
If you’re diabetic, it could be part of the reason you find yourself not as interested in sex as you once were.
Thyroid problems can decrease your sex drive because the thyroids in the neck produce hormones and when the thyroids are under-active, they aren’t producing these hormones, it’s going to affect your sex drive.
4. High Blood Pressure
For many reasons, but to name one, having high blood pressure decreases blood flow in the body, including to the penis. We all know that the less blood your penis gets, the harder it is to achieve or keep an erection. High blood pressure can cause intercourse for women to become painful.
Yea, if high blood pressure wasn’t enough, there’s also anemia to sap your inner horny-toad.
If nothing else seems to fit, you might consider looking deeper to see if it could be one of these things or other health issues causing you to feel less sex-driven. Some more things that can contribute to a lessened sex drive, but aren’t likely to be a lone cause of it are:
Yep. Sorry to break the bad news to all you iPad or iPhone lovers, but some believe that electronics emit energy that can affect us negatively. These are called electromagnetic fields. Electromagnetic fields may potentially promote Fibromyalgia, fatigue, and cancer.
As most of us know, electronics are always emitting this energy that affects us in ways we don’t even often realize. Too much of it can deplete your energy. Not only are all these electronic gadgets a distraction, and in my opinion, should be eliminated in the bedroom (put them all in the other room, for Pete’s sake and get it on!) but they actually affect your sex drive.
This is why we keep a mini Salt rock lamp going in the bedroom — it neutralizes the EMF (electromagnetic field) radiation and creates a more relaxing space. Not to mention, the beautiful glow is kind of romantic!
However, there are other ways to reduce the energy produced by these things, if you can’t simply remove them all.
7. Unresolved Issues
Fighting can leave hurt feelings, and without healing, properly getting control of common arguments and staying on top of things in order to prevent arguments from spiraling into a bigger problem, we have to work on them. We argue most often, when we don’t agree on something or when one has done something to upset or hurt us. Issues need either to be resolved and a pact made for better behavior in the future, or by forgiveness and apology. Often times the resolution isn’t as tough as we make it. Taking care of or solving our unfinished business can make a big difference in the bedroom.
This is probably the very last possible reason for lowered sex drive you want to read, but here goes: clutter! I cannot speak for everyone, but for many — including myself — a cluttered bedroom can affect your sex drive in a negative way because when you’re lying there on the bed, your partner’s hands caressing all your hot spots and you notice the junk all over the floor, your mind tends to go straight into stress-mode.
You start thinking about work when you should be enjoying something great. Plus, clutter just gives off just a bad feeling. Stress, clutter can cause it!
Believe it or not, a bad case of anxiety, whether it’s stemming from your job, health or something else can affect your sex drive in extreme ways.
Like depression, some people with anxiety have less of a desire for sex. Your mind is usually a racing mess when you’re anxious. You don’t feel comfortable in your own skin and your head feels like it’s in overdrive. That alone makes it hard to think about sex, but a lot of anxiety can also cause one to feel physical pain or discomfort during intercourse.
It’s a good idea if you’re experiencing anxiety, to get in under control as quickly as possible. I have been affected by a long period of extreme anxiety and it, along with two health problems I had eventually made our sex lives a mess. The anxiety and health problems controlled when and how long we had sex.
In order to reduce your anxiety levels, you have to get to the root of the problem. For me, it was pain from my past as well as my health problems combined. Once I healed a little from my past pain (and it took a lot of work) and got the health problems under control, my anxiety eventually diminished.
At one time, I was on medication for it, which can be helpful for some people, but there are also other things that can help such as meditation, prayer, taking out time to relax for yourself, yoga, calming activities and even calming teas can be helpful.
Chamomile is known for its anxiety-reducing properties. The L-theanine in green tea that I mentioned being used as a sleep aid is also helpful for anxiety. Basically, everything listed for sleeping is also known for reducing anxiety.
Also, remembering that you were given today for today and that worrying about tomorrow doesn’t accomplish or change anything is helpful. Keep reminding yourself of that!
10. Past Abuse
While this one is obvious, I feel I should mention it: past sexual abuse. This can create more problems in life than any one article could tell you, but sex is one thing many people find problematic after experiencing such a traumatic occurrence.
Unfortunately, this is only a tiny portion of the low-sex drive pie. There are so many more things that can cause a decrease in sex drive. I’ve probably read over a hundred, at least. Heck, even too much BPA (bisphenol-A, the stuff that’s in plastic bottles/cups, children’s toys, and even receipts) can lower a guy’s sex drive and is even linked to Erectile Dysfunction.
Next time you go to buy a plastic drinking cup or bottled water, look on the very bottom and see if it has a sticker that says “BPA-free.” Lately, since so many studies have been showing that BPA is harmful to our health, a lot of manufacturers have apparently stopped using BPA in their products, and are quick to stick it on the label that it’s free of BPA.
Thank you, Kendra, for your encompassing take on our basic drives.