Who Strokes Your Ego?
Do you want to be important for your own gratification or to please others? Do you want or need constant applause, acclaim, and accolades?
Because I am an aging mother and grandmother, I need to feel important to my kids. I need their approval and quality time with them. I’ve always wanted to be a singer, but I had no rhythm. I learned over time just because we can’t sing or dance or be a television star, doesn’t mean we are not talented and not important.
Giving up early on the impossible relieves us of the agony of failure and negative feelings left over from non-achievement.
For those who think they can and can’t, Abraham Lincoln said, “You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all of the people some of the time, but you cannot fool all of the people all of the time.”
Professor John Dewey, America’s most profound philosopher, says the deepest urge in human nature is the “desire to be important.” It is a gnawing and unfaltering human hunger to feel all-important.
Food for self-esteem is always good nourishment for our egos:
- Don’t waste time doing the impossible.
- Be your own best fan in all aspects of your life, your work, your home, and your family.
- Show appreciation to others.
- Follow your inner voice and intuitions.
- Importance is as Importance does.
- Attitude is equally as important as ability.
- Generosity to others makes you a winner.
- Do what makes you happy.
- Learn to listen to and appreciate others.
- Remember Flattery is from the teeth out, while sincere appreciation is from the heart out.
- Stay positive.
- Steer clear of negative people.
Anybody can find sufficient cause to dislike our own lot in life. Maybe, we need to understand that existence is not what we find but what we create for ourselves. We can do this by organizing our existence around our family, our interests, hobbies, professions, and skills. Most of the social problems we have today are because of lack of confidence in ourselves. So many of our young are wondering around unsure of where they belong and what to do with their lives. They do not feel important. Many of children do not have a father for role models.
Feeling unwanted and under-appreciated by their parents can drive them to the insanity of wanting to hurt others. It is true that a square peg does not fit into a round hole. It takes faith and persistence to find enough courage to keep looking for a good fit for you. Remember good judgment comes from experience; and experience, well, that comes from poor judgment!
You will be a success if you move in the direction of change and growth. Experimenting with new crafts makes your mind keener and more flexible. If it is your intention to fill your life so full of secondary activities, there will be no time to appreciate what is important to you, which is hopefully, work, family, and friends. Every member of every family is equally important; just as every finger is essential to the hand.
Emerson said, “Every man I meet is my superior in some way. In that, I learn of him.” The truth is that almost everyone you meet feels superior to us in some way, and a sure way to his heart is to let him realize that you recognize his importance. There is nothing we need so much as nourishment for our self-esteem. We need to nourish the bodies of our children and friends as well as nourish their self-esteem. Losing our children is like losing a finger, and necessary balance one needs to do simple things IE… like holding a coffee cup. Balance is the key to our self-esteem.
An old Chinese Proverb says, “You cannot prevent the birds of sorrow from flying over your head, but you can stop them from building nests in your hair.”