BRIT LIT WIT: Mr.J UK International Interview
US’s Amateur Austere Award Achieving American Author, Mr.J
MR.E: ‘Ello, ‘ello, Mr.J. Like tah congra’ulate you on winning ya award, I woul’, I woul’. Now, asking meh opening ques’ion, I am, I am…How ‘tis ya firs’ expe’ience in de UK when ehtis contras’ed tah de US, meh guhhhd sir?
MR.E: Cheers, innit? ‘Tis be Absolu’ely majes’ic,’ eh ‘tis, ‘eh ‘tis. An’…Back to meh opening ques’ion, ‘ole chap?
MR.J: Oh yeah, well, umm uh err…to answer your opening question-As a wordsmith I noticed that there’s a slight, just slight, language barrier. Not like the Great Wall of China sort of barrier but more like the wall the US tried to build across the Mexican border sort of barrier.
MR.E: Brillian’, bloo’ey brillian’,meh guhhhd ‘ole ma’e. Coul’ ya give an examp’e of de seman’ic similari’ies or discourse differences be’ween de two linked langua’es tha’ you’ve been privy to during your England excursion?
MR.J: Uh um umm…home in the US if I said that I lost several pounds a day, the preponderance of Americans would precipitously postulate that I probably have an eating disorder…But here in the UK if I said that I lost several pounds a day, the preponderance of British would precipitously postulate that I probably have a gambling problem.
MR.E: Ha, righ’, right. Wha’ abou’ de cul’ural differences?
MR.J: Well, it seems everyone drinks like fish, sophisticated, articulate, fish.
MR.J: And…uh uh umm, everyone speaks so eloquently to their children and at home we speak to babies like they’re a puppy or just got the Bronze Medal at the Special Olympics.