Angie's DIARY | Online Writing Magazine

Angie's DIARY | Online Writing Magazine

AMPHIGORY ALMANAC: Meet Mr.J (Excerpt)

Posted by on Jun 10th, 2010 and filed under Essay, Poetic Prose. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0. You can leave a response or trackback to this entry

streetlights 300x168 AMPHIGORY ALMANAC: Meet Mr.J (Excerpt)
I am soon to be paralyzed
in the happiness of the tender night.
Involuntarily my grey sun strained eyes fluttered and
winked ferociously from glancing at the once bloomed in
bright crimson light, rays elicited by a cheerful red sun.

A sun that seemed to have unobtrusively dimwits as
if it was quivering on the horizon from the warm center
of the world to the ragged edge of the universe.

A sun that lightly, splendidly, languidly sank with soft
whispers and an effeminate swank forging velvet dusk.
Acting as the midwife to the birth of a warm winded
summer day’s sinister contrast.

Suddenly: Streetlights
shining, candles flickering, and blackness vanishes any
harsh defiant wistfulness.
Privileged glimpses privy to the riotous excursions
found in natural curiosity’s abortive sorrows uninflected.

Running together in a soothing tone with
leisure movements nibbling stale ideas
as they tremble helplessly.

Plunge the days gruff husky tenor arrogance and
supercilious manner as the suns face feigns affectations
Pleasing contemptuous expressions now twirling, rippling,
and ballooning downward like its anchored by a
metallic shrill of its own void of desire and surplus of
skepticism.

The night bellows a triumphant yet meekness and you
can almost hear its thrilling laughter fragility unaffected
by scorn or contempt.
This nocturnal short winded elation heightened in
sensitivity by the sky vacuous of solar rays shining but
populated by a parade of flabby impressionability in the
shape of twinkling consolations.

Abruptly my eyes now flash restlessly searching the
arresting phenomenon of darkness left in the wake of
absence of a majestic sunny day.

Hovering impatiently, as if I’ve become more alert,
my stare is fastened with an awe expression to the sharply
different dull illumination consoling proximity to the
gleaming silver pepper of the stars.

Stars reflected on bays mirror like surface resembling
diamonds glittering along the water consumed by young
breath giving air radiantly moonlit, calm and crisp.
not as gold as a harvest moon, footsteps echo my previous
destination as I stroll.

Carelessly wandering with childlike glee and vulnerable
exultance in the twilight’s crystallized blanket of
wavering silhouettes emerged from wavering shadows.

I am now paralyzed in the happiness of the tender night.

Brandon C. Jones May 2010
for sale at amazon.com

AMPHIGORY ALMANAC cover 300x229 AMPHIGORY ALMANAC: Meet Mr.J (Excerpt)


Similar posts on this magazine:

6 Responses for “AMPHIGORY ALMANAC: Meet Mr.J (Excerpt)”

  1. Ernest Phares says:

    I have liked your way of writing this. Thanks for sharing this.

  2. Kaye Brantley says:

    Super post – and great magazine by the way:-)

  3. Thanks for the supportive and positive feedback!

You must be logged in to post a comment Login

VIP Author Info

Mr J

MR.J®
UK Best Seller .MR.J® Awards:
Indie Print Press, Inc Book Awards (2011)
Angie's Diary VIP Award (2011)
Underground UK Publishing Book Awards (2011)

MR.J BIO:
Meet Mr. J, a mouth-breathing-barbaric-lousy-writer so self involved that he failed Astronomy 101 because he literally thought the world revolved around him. Someone once stole his identity but it was quickly returned . . . along with several others to choose from. Mr. J is writing a new book or as he called it "an Amish blog". It will probably have more unread pages than crack dealer's beeper during the 80's.

MR.J'S BOOK REVIEWS

Meet Mr. JPaperback: $11.95April 26, 2011
(1)Paperback: 68 pagesPublisher: Outskirts Press (April 26, 2011)
Language: EnglishAmazon Best Sellers Rank: #167 in Books


"Amphigory Almanac" ranked #38 on AMAZON'S TOP SELLER HUMOR BOOKS LIST July 17,2010 & Mr.J (brandon diddy jones) is nominated as BEST BREAKTRHOUGH AUTHOR 2011 by INDIEPRINT PRESS, INC For more information or to contact the author -topics.dallasnews.com/article/0fJz5Km9DIdOk?q=Barnes+%26+Noble%2C+Inc.


A-list Award Achieving Author, Mr.J is nominated by Indiepress Inc
July 17, 2010 Amphigory Almanac: Hebetudinous Humour, Pedantic Prose, & Linguistic Levity: Meet Mr. J ranked number 38 on AMAZON'S BESTSELLER HUMOR LIST.
-Amazon.com's Author Achievement

Amazon A-list Award Achieving Author, Mr.J is nominated by Indiepress Inc. as BEST BREAKTRHOUGH AUTHOR 2011.
-Muse Monthly Magazine

Mr.J's new book entitled AMPHIGORY ALMANAC is splendid, superb, and smart.
-Travel Trade Tribune

Mr.J commands the english language with terrific the power of Zeus that resonates from the surface of the page to the deepest crevice of the reader's imagination.
-Word-Nerd World Weekly

AMPHIGORY ALMANAC display's Mr.J's elogence and eloquence are subtle yet celebrated in this peice of paperback perfection.
-Elite English E-zine

Imagine if Mark Twain and Mitch Hedberg had a love-child of literature it would be named Amphigory Almanac.
-Quiet Quip Quarterly

AMPHIGORY ALMANAC's relentlessly razor sharp and remarkably rapid fire humor create the sparks that could set the entire sky on fire with wickedly wonderful wordplay.
-Geek Speak Gazzette

Make sure you have a dental plan before cracking open AMPHIGORY ALMANAC'S covers because it will be jaw dropping.
-Papercut Press Publishing

In the 19th century of fiction there was Lewis Carol, in the 20th century of fiction there was hemmingway, and now as readers embark the 21st century of fiction we fasten our eyes in awe to the newly named sultan of sonnets, the prince of prose, the wizard of wordsmiths: Mr. J.
-Novelist Newbie Network

What Edison was to electricity, what Marconi was to sound, and what terrible sitcoms was to Sherwood Shwartz is equivalent to what Mr.J is to comedic commantary.
-Bookworm Brodcasting Bros.

If boredom was a disease Mr.J's homerun hitting humor book AMPHIGORY ALMANAC would be the cure like insulin of intrigue to the diabetes of dullness.

Finally a voice for an unspoken generation speaks with acerbic wit and ear tickling vernacular that rings true. Parenthetically, 236 typos (i.e. errors of grammar, syntax, semantics, linguistics, etc) have been intentionally left, not to exasperate a maladroit writing skill, but to accent how frivolous and moot rules can be in creative writing. It's a "Where's Waldo" of Errors making it interactive for the grammar gurus' scrutiny. Sometimes the stream of consciousness may seem scatterbrained and unfocused, but this was not done adventitiously. Each word was diligently and rigorously labored over. The steadfast and unwavering pace of self deprecating and self disparaging levity reminds the reader that the mission of the book is to be jocular and jovial at its own faults, follies, and foibles. Debuting author, Brandon C. Jones, hits the scene with his complete collection of work. Each chapter is autonomous and non-interdependent on the others. It's the kind of treatise that can be read in several different settings without losing momentum. Tone, word choice and style fluctuate, but motifs of a throwback to archetypal Woody Allen's erudite absurdity act as the midwife to the birth of a refreshing style of American literature.

Mr.J is currently working on 3 new novels, a joke-a-day calendar, submissions for media, and is featured in USA TODAY reporting his nomination for the coveted "BEST BREAKTHROUGH AUTHOR 2011 AWARD" presented by the reviewers and staff of UK's underground publishing house, Indie-Press, INC.

Nancy Duci Denofio
Angie's DIARY | Online Writing Magazine © 2008-2012 is a Network Holland™ initiative
Tel.: +31 20 675 2721 - Fax: +31 20 676 2016 - Email: contact@angiesdiary.com

ONLINE WRITING MAGAZINE-GET READ-GET PUBLISHED-WRITING CONTESTS-BOOK PROMOTION-REVIEWS-INTERVIEWS-STORY AND ARTICLE SUBMISSION-ANGELICA PASTORELLI