10 Things that Probably Won’t Happen to (Straight) Men

Men will never be jealous of their friend's new clothes.
They will never get depressed when they ate too much.
They will never ask a random person: "where did you buy these fabulous pants?"
You will never hear a man tells his friend: "wow, you look good!" or "those pants are really making your butt look smaller!"
They will never be caught confused for half an hour, purchasing a pair of shoes.
They will not extend their wardrobe, a new purchase is usually made when disposing of and old or broken item.
You will never hear a man cry out in despair: "I don’t have anything to wear!"
A man doesn’t refrain from breaking wind for a long time, and once the first one slips out, he will never hold them back again...
A man will never refuse sex because he didn't shave!
Nor will they ever refuse sex because they feel too fat!