Chronicles of Life and Love in the Soprano State
Part 4: Second Verse, Same As The First

I waited patiently for Shena to calm down as she paced back and forth on our Skype connected video call.  We were discussing my decision to date an ex-flame when she began to rant like some tortured half-sister of Oprah and Ann Coulter.

Last night Sophia understood my desire to resume dating Major so I naively thought Shena would receive my news in a similar fashion.  I was wrong, people.  Dead wrong.  Shena fumed the moment I utter the words.

“Awww hell no, Ang!!  He’s history.  Do you need a repeat of the heartbreak he dished out?”

“You’re painting the past with your drama brush again!” I countered.

“I am NOT!  You have a selective memory but I’ll give you a recap –straight with no chaser.”

“No, no. Stop. Take it down a notch, you’re getting all red in the face and your voice is in a higher register,” I cautioned because Shena suddenly looked very animated on my computer screen. “The only people that understand the true depth and devastation of the breakup are the people involved in the relationship.”

“Bullsh*t!  When I see an accident on the side of the road I know if it’s a fender bender or a totally wreck.  I don’t need to be in the car to get an idea of what happened.”

“Hey, are you comparing my relationship to a car wreck?  You don’t really want me to start dropping metaphors on your social life, do you?”

Shena opened her month to blast me but no words came out.  Instead a wicked grin crept across her face.  It was one of those smirks she makes whenever our conversation turns toward one of her ‘boy-toys’.

See Shena is in a stage of her life where she’s using men before they use her.  She enjoys their company, money, sexual chemistry and nothing else because she doesn’t want any drama.  She’s the only one of my girls that remembers all the names of Jersey’s hot male exotic dancers and still hosts fabulous sleepovers for her three children like a PTA mom.   By day, she turns heads in the corporate world in tailored Anne Klein suits with her professional demeanor; yet at night, she raises eyebrows when she reveals her full back tattoo in a halter top and curses like a war veteran.

Okay,” Shena seethed, “you can have that one but he better not pull that ‘breakup on the phone’ sh*t twice.  That was some sophomoric sh*t.”

I agreed and sighed when she finally sat down and relaxed her crinkled brow.  I was relieved that she seemed to be accepting my decision but I’m still a little worried because Shena can simmer on her righteous indignation until she’s unleashes her frustration.  She’s a true Libra—and if she doesn’t feel a balance in her relationships she’ll swing between extremes until a concrete solution is negotiated.  Oh I’m so thankful that Major wasn’t sitting next to me when I Skyped the news.

Shena and I went on to talk about how her new life in Richmond, Virginia and how easy it is for her to manipulate the men around her.  Most of them have never seen a woman like her and I believe most of the women probably are leery of her on sight.  I appreciate her protective nature and laughter because no one understands how far I’ve come in my relationships like she does.

“Ang, you hear me?” Shena yelled as her face neared the webcam.

“What? What?”

Shena smiled, “I said, I’m coming back to Jersey next month so you can introduce me to Major then, right?”

I smiled weakly and silently prayed that God would interrupt my internet connection because my fingers were suddenly too frozen to do the job.

If Shena was coming back to Jersey that only means one thing, she wasn’t leaving until she met Major and gave him a piece of her mind.  And a piece of her mind has been known to frighten any Jersey cab drivers that attempts to take the scenic route when she’s pressed for time.  And for the record…Shena is ALWAYS pressed for time.

1,4,3…’til next time, Chicas

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