Comments on: Holding My Breath http://angiesdiary.com/poetry-and-lyrics/poem-stories/holding-my-breath/ Online Writing Magazine Mon, 21 May 2012 23:27:30 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.2 By: Dyman Khonneth Yahayahttp://angiesdiary.com/poetry-and-lyrics/poem-stories/holding-my-breath/#comment-1854 Dyman Khonneth Yahaya Tue, 20 Jul 2010 15:00:11 +0000 http://angiesdiary.com/2010/04/holding-my-breath-%c2%a9lauried-hopkins2007/#comment-1854 Hey, tough! This is a good peace of work. I like the whole thing though I wanted to quit half midway. It's rather too long. Oh, by the way, It's breathless! A good title!In my opinion though, I believe following a standard form would have helped to gather the common ideas together. The way it is, the flow is distorted somehow which leads to the title getting overshadowed . Nevertheless, it has all ingredients of a creative power with rhyming pattern here and there that tends to add a flavor. You deserve all the encouragement in the world!Hey let me just stop, who the hell do I think I am? I really don't know. So, I'll say: Keep it up coz I know the best is yet to come! Hey, tough!
This is a good peace of work. I like the whole thing though I wanted to quit half midway. It’s rather too long. Oh, by the way, It’s breathless! A good title!

In my opinion though, I believe following a standard form would have helped to gather the common ideas together. The way it is, the flow is distorted somehow which leads to the title getting overshadowed .
Nevertheless, it has all ingredients of a creative power with rhyming pattern here and there that tends to add a flavor. You deserve all the encouragement in the world!

Hey let me just stop, who the hell do I think I am? I really don’t know. So, I’ll say: Keep it up coz I know the best is yet to come!

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